We’re all excited about 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Resident Evil 4. I am, you are, we all are. Sure, we may all have hundreds of other games we should be finishing, but let’s be honest: We’re going to play the 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Resident Evil 4 remake, put it on our bes𝔉t-of lists, and then marvel at ourselves for being so smart in our choices. It looks good! And having a mysterious man sell me things from his coat will al♑ways get me on your side.
But I’m missing one thing from the remake of Resident Evil 4. Fortunately, it’s not VR, as it seems they’re going to be 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:bringing an update to PS VR2. Plus, the 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:already-existing Resident Evil 4 VR game is incredible if you haven’t played it. In fact, I’d wager to say that Resident Evil has become a much better virtual reality game series than traditional game series. I’m not going to support that fact with further arguments since I could get paid to write that idea again later. Note to self: write that ide🅷a again later.
By all accounts, 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:the Resident Evil 4 remake is great and ▨will continue to be great once us normals get our hands on it on release day. I even pre-ordered it because I don’t learn lessons. That&r🥂squo;s right, pre-ordering: The one way to never, ever get burned by a video game!
Still, for all its upgrades෴, th𒅌e new Resident Evil 4 release has forgotten the most important element of all: the chainsaw controller.
If you don’t remember - and why would you? - Capcom released a limited edition, fake-blood-covered chainsaw controller with Resident Evil 4. The controller was usable. You could play games on it. There are YouTube vide☂os of people playing completely unrelated games using the chainsaw controller. And, yes, I know that with the right adapters, I could play the new Resident Evil 4 using the old controller. I don’t care. I want a🐼 new chainsaw controller with adaptive triggers and haptic feedback.
Now, before you “Um, actually…” me, I know that 168澳洲幸🔴运5开奖网:the dev team say they wanted to make one, but they didn’t have the time or resources. They’ve even said that, given the opportunity, they’d love to make a new chainsaw controller. But they won’t. I’d love to be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. But god love ‘em, they won’t make that controller. Some half-ass controller company you’ve never heard of will make one, some game site will run a completely uncritical preview of the controller, and fans will find out too late its buttons are made of soft plast🌠ic and its an🦄alog sticks are made of pain.
Beyond the silliness of it, the Resident Evil 4 chainsaw controller represents a moment in gaming that we’ll probably never get back. There was a weird period - pretty much during the height of the PlayStation 2, GameCube, and Xbox era - in which the industry began to accept just how popular video games were while having no idea what to do w𒁏ith that information. They knew fans were willing to spend money on stupid bullshit, but they’d yet to figure out the best stupid bullshit to sell. Computer games had given out big manuals and cloth maps for years, but that’s the kind of fun a game requiring you to edit an Autoexec.bat file brings.
Of course, this wasn’t an ‘innocent’ time for games. Resident Evil back then was far weirder and grosser about 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:how it treated its women characters. This was als🦋o the age of the booth babe, in which dorks writing about games would ogle women hired by companies who didn’t have enough confidence in their own products. Essentially, half of the video game press was that scene from The Simpsons in which a series of guys keep asking a model at a car show if she comes with the car. It was a stupid time.
But, as Charles Dickens ಌsaid, it was the stupidest of times, it was the silliest of times. And the chainsaw controller was just good-old-fashioned silly. It was a silly way to promote a game while getting a few silly fans to spend more money. But it was beautiful. It was a work of absurd art that had no reason to exist. It may have worked, but even the people making it seemed to know it was just pure abs𒀰urdity.
I miss that absurdity. The marketing around this Resident Evil 4 remake feels more serious and less fanciful. Rather than being a bloody adventure into rural Spain, the game is being sold as a contemplative journey into darkness. Those two aren’t qui🌼te different, but there’s an element of prestige-television salesmanship. Everyone wants to be the next The Last of Us. You do that by taking your drama seriously. Chainsaw controllers aren’t serious. This sentence might only make sense to me, but it’s truly possible to have a gaming world in which we enjoy silly shit without being stupid about it.
It’s a fine line. I like that games are better now. I like that they’re made better and - hopefully - under better circumstances. Resident Evil 4 is one of the greatest games of all time and, by all accounts, this new version has done nothing but add polish. But we’ve flipped so far t𓂃he other way. We’re so used to taking games seriously that some of the fun has been sucked out. When the games are serious explorations of the human condition, that’s fair. But when a game involves a giant guy with a bag mask trying to cut you in half, maybe we don’t need to give everything a gravity rivaling Jupiter.
Or maybe I just want a chainsaw controller. Either way, ♕I checked eBay and both the GameCube and PlayStation 2 versions run for about $250 minimum. So that’s definitely not happening.
