After controversies and delays, the 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Sonic The Hedgehog movie has finally made it to theatres. In what has to be a total shocker, 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:it’s apparently not that bad! Sonic’s cinematic debut turned out to be much less disastrous than Mario’s. And there’s no doubt that the film was improved by Sonic’s drastic redesign. It 🐲was more visually appealing and more friendly-looking than the previous monstrosity.
B𒁃ut most importantly, it was infinitely more kওissable. Could you even imagine kissing this thing?
Hard pass.
Yes, dear readers, we are here today to answer the question that’s should be on everyone’s mind: Does Sonic kiss James Marsden? Sonic has a rich history of playing tonsil hockey with humans in the past. If this movie i🃏s going to be truly faithful to the series, there'd better be 𒆙some interspecies smooching.
The History Of Sonic Swapping Spit
The trend of Sonic kissing other people began with the awful - 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:but maybe not that awful - Sonic ’06. While that game did a ton of weird stuff, perhaps the weirdest thing it did was have Sonic potentially fall in love with the magical human Princess Elyse. This romance inevitably ends with the two engaged in a bizar🐟re, confusing kiss. Granted, that kiss was also partially because she had to bring Sonic back to life using Chaos Emerald magic – ℱdon’t ask – but we’re pretty sure that was just an excuse to make out with a blue hedgehog.
Besides that example, typing “Sonic kissing” into Google image search uncovers all sorts of nightmare fuel. It's very clear that a large portion of the Sonic audience wants to see him get tongue tangled with aওnyone and everyone.
So, with that in mind, it’s time to answer the big question. Do Sonic and Jameꦫs Marsden kiss, snog, or express their feelings in a wonderful physical display of love and affection?
MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING FOR SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
N𝕴o, they do not. Because Hollywood is filled with cowards.
We Must Strive To Be Better
Oh sure, some may say the idea of a CGI cartoon hedgehog kissing the 46 year old – how the hell is he 46?! – star of X-Men and Hop is too much. They might say that a movie aimed at children is no place for such a for🦹bidden romance. They might say that such a cinematic kiss would be at best horrifying and at worst an affront to God that exemplifies how far society as a whole has fallen into a pit of immorality and depravity.
But come on, it would have been hot.
It would have broken down barriers, opened up new doors, changed the way the world perceives movie romance. Right now, Sonic The Hedgehog is nothing more than a video game adaptation in which and there’s probably at least one fart joke. Sonic and Marsden’s kiss would have made Sonic The Hedgehog one of the most memorable movies ever made.
Instead, it’ll go down in history alongside 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Detective Pikachu and 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Mortal Kombat on the list of video game films that maybe aren’t good, but are at least passable. Considering the ter🃏rible game-to-film adaptations that have come before, that is an accomplishment, but it could have so much more.
Hopefully, when the inevitable sequel arrives, we’ll have grown as a civ𝓰ilization. When that day comes, the glorious make-out session between a magical mammal and a middle-aged man who once played Cyclops shall herald the arrival of a new utopian society.
It’ll also spawn some pretty dank memes.