Scientists discovered a new frequency last week. A researcher with a long-range wave analyzer picked up the sound this past Saturday just outside of Santa Fe, California. Th🐭e human ear can’t hear this frequency, but scientists all around the world were able to see the exact same readings. Puzzled by the source, they combined their data and soon discovered the sound only existed between 3am-6am GMT on Friday, 7pm-10pm on Saturday, and 11am-2pm on Sunday. It turns out this new frequency was the sound of millions of gamers finally playing Elden Ring for the first time.

Elden Ring hype is next level, even by video game standards.ꦬ FromSoftware fans have sky high expectations for when Elden Ring comes out next year. This game is going to repair all of the damage Cyberpunk 2077 did to the gamersphere, reverse global warming, exterminate NFTs, and make Chris Pratt quit being Mario. This is the video game version of the Angels winning the World ♉Series, and hey, maybe even your dad will finally come home.

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It’s a popular game, is what I’m trying to say. But if you’re not a devout Dark Souls fan, you may be wondering why people are treating Elden Ring like the second coming of Christ. I may not be a Souls expert, but I know a thing or two about hype, and I’m here to warn you: don’t let these Elden Ring sickos fool you. It may end up being everything they hope it will be - this weekend’s network test certainly indicated that it is - b🐠ut that doesn’t mean you’re somehow bound by the Gamer Code of Ethics to buy into the hype. If you don’t like Dark Souls games, Elden Ring isn’t going to change that. It will be a great Dark Souls game - possibly even the best one🦂 ever - but it’s still just, you know, a Dark Souls game.

The Stormveil Castle in Elden Ring

I played a lot of Elden Ring this weekend, and yeah, it’s great. You can ride a horse, stab a guy with a spear, stab a big dog with a spear… mostly stab different people and animals wꦯith a spear, now that I think of it. It’s got campfires, it’s got flasks, it’s got inscrutable menus and a bunch of weird items that look like severed fingers and toes. I think you can see what I’m getting at. It’s a Souls game.

There are those who haven’t yet discovered their love for Souls games, and Elden Ring will be a spectacular entry point for those players. Open world games will always have a certain amount of broad appeal, and Dark Souls, being the most popular niche game genre, makes for a perfect fit. My message is not “Don’t try Elden Ring if you’re not sure you&rsqu🔜o;ll like it” but rather “Don’t try Elden Ring if you know you won’t like it.”

That may seem like an obvious piece of advice, 🎉but hype is a hell of a drug. I know there are a few of you out there right now thinking “Well I’ve never enjoyed playing Dark Souls before, but maybe this time will be different!” It won’t. It’s Dark Souls, you’re fine. February is a packed month for games, so if you think you might want to cross this one off your list - even though it’s destined to be the greatest game of all time - you can. This is your official permission slip to not play Elden Ring. You’re welcome.

Next: Elden Ring's World Doesn't Have Much More To Offer Than Combat