At Game Company, we’ve proudly made some of the greatest video games of all time for some of the greatest fans of all time. But above all else, we consider ourselves a family. A family for those who love imagination. A family for those who love adventure. A family for those who love coming together to deliver happine🌸ss and fun to gamers everywhere. It’s this drive that’s made us the success we are today. And that’s why we’re laying off hundreds of people.

News like this is never easy, so that’s why we made our underpaid social media manager handle it before we laid them off too. We value the work and the effort of every member of our team, whether they be the quality assurance team we let go or the writers of our popular franchises we fired. We wouldn’t be where we are today as a company without these people. But since we are here today, we don’t need them anymore.

Some fans might be worried this will negatively affect our games. Don’t be. Our parent corporation may be famous for buying studios and hollowin𒈔g them out until they’re a dead husk of a brand, but we have complete assurance from them that they will continue to cancel half🐎 of our projects mid-development and not promote any of the others they do release. Meanwhile, our seven-figure earning executives who last worked on a game in 1995 will continue to over-promise to the press without any personal consequence when said game bombs. That’s the way this company has worked for decades, and that’s the way we think games should be made.

Rest assured, our company will still produce the same amazing game delays as we produced before. If anything, these recent layoffs will help us streamline the production process by allowing our executi💎ves to save time by pressuring a smaller group of people. And without a serviceable Q&A team left, we’ll be able to get our games to you faster than ever before. You’ll even get to be part of the production process by complaining about bugs which we’ll fix over the courseꩲ of four years. Exciting!

Of course, we do know this restructuring will be difficult for our staff. Especially because we referred to it as ‘the first wave’ in the mass eജmail that we sent to them minutes before they arrived at work. It’s tough to lose friends in the workplace, but we know in our hearts that our dedicated team will be t🍸oo scared to not pick up the work of five people. Some of them are also here on work visas, which is extremely convenient when asking people to stay late.

To help our team, we’re providing job assistance to the very people we just threw on the street. The assistance is this: an intern wꦬill email about openings at other game companies for a few weeks before eventually ghosting. Those companies also just had layoffsꦡ, so there’s sure to be a lot of spots available! We’ve promised to help feed and clothe their families with protein bars from the third floor kitchen and leftover merch shirts from PAX. It’s the least we can do. And trust us - we definitely tried to see if we could legally do least-er.

This was not a decision we came to lightly. Rather, our parent company came to this decision lightly. Then they told our executives who said, “Okay” as fast as a human thought can trave👍l. It’s a sad reality of the video game industry that you can either pay a healthy-sized team a livable wage or you can make a good game. There is no middle ground and somehow we think this makes sense. We believe that game teams should suffer if they want to put out a good product. But don’t worry: none of our executives will have to stay later than 7pm, which they’ll still call “an all-nighter.”

We appreciate the outpouring of love and support our fans have given our co-workers both past a🥂nd present during this time we ourselves caused. There is nothing more important to us than our fans, unless they were fans of our company before working for us, in which case we have obliterated any joy they derived from our games. At the end of the day, all we want to do is make video games for the biggest audience possible and then dump the staf𝔉f off at the curb like the garbage we believe they are.

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