I’m not much of a mobile game player. I don’t like burning through my phone battery as we rely on our phones so much these days to get around, stay in conta💛ct, and even pay for things. As a result, I never want to risk being stranded somewhere because I was playing a game for too long. The last time I pro꧒perly got into a mobile game was during the height of Pokemon Go, and I carried around multiple portable chargers to survive that obsession.

Our family is a big fan of Goat Simulator, all thanks to our son, who just couldn’t get enough of the original and forced it on us until we inevitably fell in love with it, too. There’s something endearing about the chaotic adventures of💜 running around꧂ as tongue-licking, headbutting fiends that no other game can match. It’s pure, mindless, silly fun.

We’ve played through the console version co💯untless times, and each new playthrough seems to yield something new. The world is so densely packed with funny little quests, secrets, and easter eggs that it feels impossible to ever know for certain if we’ve truly done it all. So when Goat Simulator 3 came to mobile, it was time to put our best hoof forward once again.

The mobile launch came at the perfect time, right before the holidays, when we often had to visit family members or go out shopping for Christmas presents, squashing ourselves into busy cafés before hitting the streets again. My son anಞd I would ease those moments of boredom by escaping to San Angora for a short while, but in doing so, we garnered the attention of more than a ౠfew people — friends and strangers alike.

“What is that?”, “What are you doing?”, “Why are you a goat?”, and more questions were often peppered our way and then we had to try to explain the concept of Goat Simulator 3. You’re a goat, and you go around being all goaty and doing pretty much anything you likeღ. We also handed overജ the reins more than once and found ourselves repeatedly doing a run down of the basic controls and watching people chuckle as they headbutted their first innocent pedestrian.

But for everyone who stopped to ask us what we were doing, plenty more just peered over at our screens with a strange look. Generally, strangers did thi𒉰s while we were out and about, as famil🍰y and friends were all too keen to ask what we were doing.

You can’t help but play up to an audience. Whenever we had unexpected voyeurs, it was time to pull out all the stops and switch our goats into something even more absurd, such as a square whale or a banana man. We made people stare by committi🉐ng grand theft auto goat style, drawing them in deeper by rocke🦄ting our goat into the air with a firework launcher.

Though the game naturally takes a toll on your battery, it didn’t eat into it as much as I thought it would. The other thing that’s generally a concern fo🐭r games being ported to mobile is that they’re not as good, yet I’m impressed by how much quality Goat Simulator 3 has managed to retain.

Naturally, it൲’s been scaled down graphically, but o🎶ther than the Abominana — giant banana men — appearing grey instead of yellow, nothing stands out as poor quality. Co-op has been reduced to two players instead of four, but other than that, everything is exactly as you would expect from the console version.

As we’ve already learned in our adventures in San Angora, there’s always something new to discover. While playing the mobile version, we found a cargo crate with a maze inside that rewarded you with a new hat at the end. It exists in the console version (we checked), and we’ve just missed it until now. The most important lesson learned was that taking your goats for a walk in public might garner more attention than expected, and that can double the fun. I’m talking about the game, of course, but if you🌠 take actual goats for a walk in public, that might get the same response.