One of the best things that Baldur's Gate 3 does, right at the start, is leaving you utterly confused, as if you had just escaped an alien ship where you were being experimented upon – which is exactly what happened. You're dazed and confused, have no idea where you are, are utterly overwhelmed by all the options in front of you, and the brain is going at a hundred miles an hour. That's not a typo, I mean the literal brain with legs that's talking to you for some reason.
Upon gathering your bearings, you make your way around the region, gatಌhering more people like you – interesting folk with much to offer in the coming fight to get an evil tadpole out of your head. As a person who started the game relatively late, I had heard all these names before, as my colleagues would incessantly talk about which characters they’d slept with.
I Can't Take Karlach Or Jaheira Anywhere In Baldur's Gate 3
Between Karlach'𓃲s dancing and Jaheira's filth, it's hard to take either of them seriously
Eventually, I came upon the first major settlement, Emerald Grove, and that's where I met Wyll. He said something about being a blade in a frother, but I was barely listening. I was too busy still trying to figure out how the game worked. The Grove was on a knife's edge, and violence could break out at any time. So I skipped over Wyll's dialogue, and he somehow joined my party. By now, I already had Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Gale with me, so I told him to go wait for me at camp.
I don't know what it was about him, but I just could not get myself to give a damn about what he had to say. Maybe it was the pompous attitude of constantly referring to himself by his title, or the fact that our meeting was extremely random – I was just talking to NPCs, not expecting someone to strongarm their way into my party. However, he did make himself useful by mentioning Karlach. I recognised the name as the demon dommy mommy my colleagues went on about and immediately set off to find her – at this point, Emerald Grove could burn for all I cared.
Fast forward a bit, and my primary party consisted of an angry lizard lady, a racist goth lady, and the aforementioned demon dommy mommy. We explored, looted, and helped people in need. They were good times. But, every time we returned to camp, there was Wyll, ready as always to ruin our mood due to no fault of his own. Even when his own patron turned him into a demon, all I could think was, "Oh no… anyway, how can I cool Karlach down enough to sleep with her?" Sorry Wyll, it's not personal - ya boring!
Moving forward to the ending of Act 2, I just defeated Ketheric Thorm – undoubtedly J.K. Simmons' calmest performance – and was feeling real pleased with myself. There were a few other missions that I had to complete at Moonrise Tower, but I couldn't recall them. Anyway, Thorm was surely the biggest threat at the moment, right? Dealing with him would make everything else easier, I was convinced of it.
Turns out that I had to save some demon from Moonrise Tower before moving on. I did later recall Wyll's patron, Mizora, telling me to do so if I really cared for Wyll. Well, that's where you made a mistake Mizora, assuming that I didn't immediately zone out after hearing Wyll's name. Well, the demon was not freed, and as a result, Wyll was immediately called down to Hell. For some reason, Karlach took that very personally, screaming about Wyll's damnation. A bit much, if you ask me – It's just Wyll after all.
The initial dialogues for all my party members ba꧑ck at camp were about mourning Wyll, but i🗹mmediately after that, three different people wanted to sleep with me, so no one really gave a damn – except Wyll, who literally got damned. Hah!
It's not that I hated Wyll for any reason, he seemed like a nice enough guy. But when I have a sassy vampire, a smouldering wizard, a muscle mommy, and a hot goth to pay attention to, Wyll just seems like some dude with a sword. I know this is rubbing it in, but the most entertainment I got out of him was when I saw the pile of ashes labelled "Wyll" in camp and chuckled to myself.