Captain America just might be the most well-known Superhero of all time. In fact, thanꩵks to the Avenger’s and Marvel Cinematic Universe or MCU, it’s essentially a household name at this point. Captain America got his start as the symbol of American pride during the Second World War. And his comic book debut started out very strong. the first line of his comics showed him giving the one and only leader of the German Regime a full knuckle sandwich, with the crust cut off. Captain America has been in just about every country, fought in more battles than ꦡany other human being, and continues to stand up as a paragon of true humanitarian ideals to this day.
One thing that's always common with any depiction of Captain America is that he's absolutely, positively ripped. It is 100% crucial that the man, the myth, the legend, Steve Rogers has washboard abs. It's just not the same tights wearing Captain if we can't see his pecs clear as day through mult🏅iple layers of clothing. But what other kind of traumatic events has that "cut from marble" body of his gone through? In the Marvel Cinematic Universe alone star Chris 🙈Evans depiction has already undergone plenty.
People just may not know all the bizarre, wacky, and sometimes even creepy things our banner of justice Steve Rogers has gone through. The lost limbs, transformations, and procedures done t🍨o the body of the American Hero is much larger than anyone would guess, but hopefully, the following list should give people an idea just how much Steve's gone through in order to keep holding that legendary shield.
25 Captain Amꦚerica Turned into Man’s Best 💯Friend?
Now I don’t know about you, but when I think Captain America, the Underworld film series always comes to mind. They just have so much in common! Heartthrob main characters, a mystery to solve, and tons of werewolves. Oh did I lose you on one of those? Yeah, I guess there isn't that much mystery in Underworld. Oh, you meant the werewolves? Well, in Captain America Issue #402 and for about 5 issues after, Wolverine and Cap are investigating a series of humans that were hunted and they’re just so darn sure it's by a werewolf. Captain has been on the hunt foꦍr his missing friends Diamondback and John Jameson for a while now. John is, of course,💖 Jonah J Jameson from the Spide-Man universe's son. John isn't an editor like his father, rather he's an astronaut.
But J. Jameson's son isn't just an astronaut, but one who went to the moon and brought back a stone that caused him to suffer from lycanthropy.
Steve Rogers, of course, connects the dots and attempts to hunt down the culprit who he thinks is John in a werewolf rage. To skip a bit of the fluff, Captain America and “totally not Dr. Strange lookalike" Doctor Druid are on the hunt for John when they come across one of those "Werewolf trafficking schemes." This leads to the now Werewolf-ified...Wolverine, and Captain America duking it out in the streets, Wolfverine knocks our star-spangled hero out. And the next time Steve wakes up in issue #405 titled so cleverly “Dances with Werewolves” he’s a real beast of an American Hero. Get it? Beast of an American Hero? ꦗGet it?...He wakes up as a werewolf alright?!
24 Take Captains "Superjuice" Away And His Body Races to Retiremen𝔍t
If you remember the first MCU Captain America film then you'll recall seeing Steve’s love interest Peggy Carter, and then seeing her again bedridden 60 years later after Captain America got out of the ice. Age kind of makes a big difference to your fighting ability, even to an Adonis of human evolution like Captain America. Now, can you imagine that chiseled Chris Evans face saggy, wrinkled, and trying to get the Early Bird Sunday special? You might not have to imagine all that hard because while Captain America in the comics doesn’t age the same way normal people do, MCU Cap does age mostly normally, he just ages more like fine wine than cheese. What you don’t know is that multiple times in the comics Steve has gotten his Super Serum taken out or nullified in one way or another, and this leads to him rapidly aging as his body sort of “catches up”. In Captain Americ﷽a Vol. 7🌸 Issue #21 Steve and Falcon are fighting off your average ordinary comic book villain The Iron Nail.
Why was he called Iron Nail you say? Well you know, on Mount Everest he got a giant hole in his chest from a dragon claw that lets him become a dragonoid-human and create tentacles.
these tentacles neutralize the super soldier serum. Average, normal, street-level criminal stuff. Where’s my Chris Evan’s Benjamin Button old man scene Hollywood?! I’m waiting. In any case, this is the beginning of the end for this iteration of Captain America as Falco💃n saves his hide and takes his prune-y butt ൩to a S.H.I.E.L.D doctor, who fixes his wounds, but unfortunately not his age.
23 ꦯ Steve Rogers Has More In Common With the Twilight Cast Than You'd Think
Now, this might just be me, but Chris Evans pulled from Not Another Teenage Movie would be a perfect fit for the Twilight films with a bit of paler skin and some plastic fangs. Mꩵarvel seemed to agree because
In the 31st issue of the Exiles Series of comics called “Avengers Forever” Captain America gets his head knocked off.
Oh, I should clarify. He was a vampire at the time so it's fine. this Captain America through the standard series of multiverses, reincarnations, and other wacky comic book contrivances, has been fighting with a whole host of X-men, Avengers, and other caped crusaders in an alternate reality. C💮ap of course as always leads the Avengers though they're a bit of a different team of Avengers this time around. This team includes The Wasp, Giant-man, Falcon, Hawkeye, and Polaris. The Exiles who this series of comics focus on, are a band of multiverse hopping heroes who correct weird bumps or typo's in the timeline, such as vampiric Avengers. So these "Exiles" go after the bloodsucking Captain and his team of cronies. They defeat most of them and even decapitate our Star Chested Cap. Unfortunately, vampires can do the whole Sleepy Hollow thing, pick up their own head, and stick it back on. in response this new iteration of the Bronx raised Steve Rogers says So obviously this iteration of Captain America is a bit more brazen, cocky, and bloodthirsty than what people are used to. Funnily enough, this isn't the only time the Captain flirts with being an undead.
22 📖 Captai⛎n America's Body Cures Vampires?!
Would you ever believe that if Marvel played their cards right, we could get Chris Evans and Wesley Snipes fighting vampires back to back in an official MCU movie? That’s right, the🧸re was an entire run of comics where Blade AKA Daywalker AKA Wesley "Mother...lovers always trying to ice-skate uphill" Snipes worked with the Avengers to put a stop to another batch of vampires. You’d think the Captain would be done with the whole vampire thing after his edgy teen “Immortal Vampire King” phase.
But Vampire Daredevil, otherwise known as “Vampire X” had other plans, and Cap gets bitten once again.
Although, things are different this time around! So we know that Captain America has an incredibly inner body on par with his muscular outer body, and that his organs are all super jacked. This can lead to some seriously insane benefits, such as Steve’s increased reaction time, mental processing power, and some really strong lungs. This version of the Captain, however, much like his MCU counterpart, doesn’t get sick much thanks to said immune system, and in combination with the super serum, actually fights off the vampirism just three issue💃s after getting bit. To clarify the situation, Steve is only so dedicated to fighting off this vampiric virus so that he can face down a fanged, bloodsucking, Hulk. Yeah, comic books are serious business. To keep things short and sweet, Cap post recovery uses a knockoff Thor’s Hammer to transport the entire base they're fighting into another country in Midday so that the vampire’s all burn away thanks to the heat of our friendly neighborhood Gas giant.
21 ♎ Super Serum Made Captain America Into A Drama Queen?
Abraham Erskine, or as audiences probably remember him, the quirky German scientist who created Captain America’s super serum. Dr. Erskine had always wanted to pick the perfect candidate for his experimeꦍntal serum. Dr. Erskine knew that the serum was an amplifier, as in it made every single physical aspect of its host s꧂tronger. But what might have slipped past some people, is it also amplifies the personality. To quote the doctor himself Dr. Erskine went through the whole process of picking tiny lil Steve Rogers, not only because he had the makings of a good soldier, and seeing him grow four times hunkier is a spectacle in of itself. But because...
Steve Rogers was essentially "pure of heart" enough for the Super Soldier Serum.
The serum should have made his bad personality traits even worse, lucky for us Steve's a real sweetheart. But what did this mean for our paragon of justice Captain America? It means Steve literally can’t help his good nature. For example: Steve Rogers in the new MCU Infinity War film just can’t understand the need to sacrifice one to save many, his ideals are a wall. And in a lot of ways, it's admirable, but in a darker sense, Steve literally cannot see in shades of grey. growing up and as a soldier, it was always Third Reich = Bad, Everyone else = Good. Now imagine if that ideal got turned up to 11? Steve already was ready to sacrifice himself for his country before the procedure, now after the super serum, there’s nothing he wouldn’t give if he believed in it enough. So you see, Cap can’t help but gossip about Becky and Chad behind their backs, noth🦄ing wrong with him! It’s just the Super Serum that makes him such a drama queen!
20 🍎 ♈ Captain America Is Actually Your Sweet Old Grandma?
So I don’t know how popular the film “Playing it Cool” from 2015 is. You might think that's a weird way to start a paragraph, and you're right, but hear me out. it’s a straight to DVD release and from what I’ve seen has nothing but less than stellar reviews. But what I do know is that Chris Evans stars in it, and during a montage scene, the man praised currently for his stereotypical “perfect man” figure actually pulls off wearing female clothing amazingly. What can I say, the man looks good in pink! What’s even more surprising is that early Marvel apparently agrees with me and actually had Captain America looking classy in pink a🎃gain in a very early issue of Jack Kirby’s Captain America. A rich American benefactor is about to finance a huge sum of money towards the fight against the German Regime when he’s stolen by said🍸 Regime and taken to Germany. Of course, this means Cap and his kid sidekick Bucky (A bit different from his MCU incarnation) have to sneak into Germany and rescue their paycheck!
And here enters this image of Bucky shoving Steve into a corset so he can pull of an aged English grandmother look.
Don't worry it gets even better. They jump on the plane towards their goal and Bucky who literally is eating a lollipop while Grandma America knits, notices a man they think is an eꦿnemy. So, Roger’s sets down his crochet, quietly hums, and decks the man in the face as he walks by. Needless to say with Evan’s movie and this scene as evidence, I’m waiting with baited breath for Cap’s Grandma disguise in the next MCU movie!
19 𒊎 Even Captain America's Eyes Are Buff?
So we know that Captain America’s muscles have muscles right? I mean Steve Rogers𝔉 isꦍ just the absolute pinnacle of human evolution.
The man is known for ripping logs in half and not fitting into one single shirt he owns.
But what audiences don’t know is this Adonis we all know and love flexes his eyeballs on a regular basis. In Captain America comics Vol 5 Chapter 17 after a gunfight where Captain seems to dance around the gunfire, an agent from shield gets Steve to confirm that his brain and eyes are so absolutely toned that he can see faster than a normal human. What this is basically saying is that his nerves transport information faster between his eyes and brain more efficiently than anyone else. It’s further noted that he can also see the trajectories of bullets as they move, which explains how he dodges them like he’s Captain Keanu Reeves. This can also explain why Cap has great running stamina and is so tactically intelligent. As we’ve already mentioned, the Super Soldier Serum really just turns up the dial on everything that was already th🌌ere. And scrawny Steve Rogers really was great at military tactics. So current day Steve uses his special brand of speedy eyesight and a super soldier serum brain to pull off all the impossible feats that he does on a day to day basis.
18 Captain America Fan Of X-Men 2? 🃏
Whenever the idea of regeneration as a superpower is brought up, my mind and probably many others goes to the scene from the second X-men film where Logan AKA Wolverine receives a bullet to the head and crumples to the ground. Not 10 seconds later the bullet is shoved out of his forehead by the adamantium skull, regenerating tissue, and the closing wound. There’s a long line of heroes with regeneration in superhero comics, it allows the author to put their character in all sorts of hilarious, horrible, and so🦩metimes even romantically dangerous situatio෴ns that normal humans couldn’t survive. But what's really odd is that not many people know that most iterations Captain America also have this superpower, albeit less powerful than Wolverines or Deadpool's. Even MCU Captain America has it to a certain extent. But it's much stronger in the Captain America and the Falcon storyline, between Issues 13 and 14.
In this issue, Captain America is shot and is pronounced as finished for 12 minutes.
Of course, he's fine, and as soon as he wakes up from, you know, death, he is up and just about ready to go back into the fight. Captain America ha♒s survived titanic falls, absurd injuries, and all means of repeated attack thanks to his god-like recovery ability. The most extreme example I could even dig up was in one run of Captain America where he quite literally opens a hole in his own chest, and proceeds to fight in the rain against opponents for hours. But where does MCU Cap fall on the spectrum of his super healing? It’s unclear, but we can assume it is at least a good amount higher than a normal human's considering the beatings he takes in every movie that would leave a normal person bedridden for months.
17 💯 Captain U🔜sain Rogers: The One Minute Mile Man
Captain America is an Olympian! Well, an alternate universe version of himself created by Scarlett Witch is, but that’s a story for another time. Standard, everyday Captain America isn’t allowed to compete because of his patented super serum. But, if he was to compete, you can be sure he’d give the worlds best runners a plateful of his dust. It’s been stated in older iterations like in Captain America: 65th ꧋Anniversary special, that Steve Rogers can run a 1-minute mile at his absolut🌸e peak.
His standard running speed is about 29 mph a full mile faster than the current world record.
But, if he’s really going all out, he can apparently do short bursts of 60 mph speeds. This isn’t just canon to the comic books. We’ve seen MCU Cap run laps around Falcon, barely even out of breath after a 13 mile run as shown in Captain America 2. Also, there have been multiple scenes in movies like Captain America C𝓀ivil War, and Avengers: Infinity War, where both Steve and Wakandan King T’Challa are running as fast as cars, motorcycles, and even aliens on all fours! Needless to say, it’s a combination of Caps brawny leg muscles, his extra strong lungs, and his superhuman strength that makes him an absolute gold medal track and field participant.
16 ꦡ Captain America: The One That Prime Primates Hate
Now anyone out there who has played Dungeons and Dragons, or any RPG video game for that matter, knows the brawnier a character is, the weaker they are to mental attacks. It’s just not fair if a character is boᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚth obscenely strong both physically and mentally. I’d flip the board and call the Dungeon Master a hack! Now, there are rare iterations of Captain America than use their absurd amounts of national pride to fight psychic🐻 attacks.
But a normal Captain America is very weak to a little bit of the old Winter Soldier brainwashing treatment.
They’ve yet to play this hand in the MCU movies, but if Thanos wanted to, he could use the Mind stone to bring Steve to his side in a heartbeat. In one older iteration, the Captain is brainwashed by his arch-nemesis Red Skull...again, All in order to have Steve work for him and use his powers for his own gain. One of these circumstances leads Rogers to a lab where genetically super primates are b💛eing created, and stand guard over the sensitive materials. It’s in this instance that Captain America, the man who hates silencing anyone, unjust punishment, and unfair treatment, harshly takes out a slew of genetic super primates in his brainwashed state. The lesson here is if Steve did his daily Sudoku challenge and brain puzzles, maybe those apes wouldn’t have had to bite the dust.