In , there are three types of Wyverns: Goofballs,🗹 Fero♋cious Beasts, and Nightmares. Goofballs are low-threat monsters that typically have silly designs and gimmicky features, like Pukei-Pukei bug eyes and giant tongue or Kulu-Ya-Ku’s boulder that it carries around like a baby. Ferocious Beasts are the exact opposite of goofballs. These are noble monsters and apex predators that each have a presence that demands respect. They often resemble dragons or carnivores, like Rathalos, Zinogre, and Teostra.

And then there’s the Nightmares - disgusting abominations that never should have made it past the first pitch session. These nasty freaks are so painful to look at that it’s hard to eve൩n fight them properly. I feel l🃏ike every time I hunt one I have to destroy my weapon and burn all my armor afterwards. Some monsters just should have never been born, and at the top of that list is Khezu - a Wyvern so vile it’s criminal. I mean it. I’m pressing charges on the creator of Khezu, whoever they are.

One look at Khezu tells you everything you need to🃏 know about this nasty little guy. It’s rubbery, pale white skin is slick with mucus and covered in patches of broken blood vessels. It has no eyes or face, just giant lips and a set of busted baby corn teeth at the end of its extendable neck. There’s no way around it: Khezu is a giant penis monster. Its head is a wrinkly penis that stre🦂tches to bite you, and its tail is another smaller and somehow more upsetting penis. It’s one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen, but as it turns out, the more you learn about Khezu the worse it gets.

Did you know that Khezu reproduce asexually? They paralyze other creatures and inject their young directly into their bodies while they will grow to maturity, eating their hosts from the inside out. Khezu also has a suction cup tail that it uses to hang onto ceilings, where it can extend its long neck to ambush prey. Its teeth form in rows like leeches, and as for the slimy membrane that covers its disgusting dick skin - no one knows what it's for. Maybe Khezu just likes to be moist.

I hate to admit it, but Khezu has some interesting qualities too. Khezu is the only Wyvern that doesn’t have a theme song. This is because background🔴 music only plays once a monster sees you, and Khezu has no eyes. It also uses its suction cup tail to ground itself whenever it uses its electric charge abilities. If you get behind it when it charges up (I’m sorry) you can see its tail open up to allow several protrusions to fuse to the g🤪round (I’m so sorry) just before it unleashes a burst of electricity. Khezu also has acidic saliva that can melt through the floor of caves, because I guess being a giant dong wasn’t enough of a gimmick.

I’ll do anything to avoid a Khezu fight. I don’t let me Palimute fight Khezu for fear that he will bite the beast and then try to lick my face later. I would never mount a Khezu, absolutely not. In fact, I only use bowguns when I have to fight Khezu because I don’t want to get anywhere near the litꦺtle bastard. Speaking of, take a look at Khezu’s light bowgun.

Khezu makes me nauseous, and I think the Monster Hunter creators know it. Most Wyverns look like fluffy dogs or angry dragons, some even border on cuddly, but Khezu is a monster in the most literal sense. It’s the kind of monster that lives under your bed and haunts you in your dreams. I was shocked and dismayed to discover that 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Monster Hunter Rise is Khezu’s eighth appearance in the series. Khezu should be ban𒁃ned and its creator should be in jail. If you wear armor made of Khezu’s slimy dick skin, you belong in jail too.