There’s a scene in the recent horror-comedy The Menu where a character takes a bite of food and describes it as “really quite… bad”. I’ve seen the movie twice, and both times the line has stuck out to me as being extremely clever. Movie scripts are not delivered by storks, they are written by writers. Writers who, like all writers, want you to think they are very intelligent, and so many writers would have substituted ‘bad’ for a ‘better’ word. But the fact is there are no better words. Nothing quite so clean and cutting. Sometimes things just are really quite bad. And these new Pokemon designs are really quite bad.
Inও the run up to the game’s launch, we published a piece on how all of Gen 9’s designs had been winners. I didn’t entirely agree with it, as by that point we had seen the monkey with a little blue penis and a long sticky finger it likes to poke in gaping holes, but I agreed with the sentiment. Quaxly wasn’t quite for me but it was a strong starter trio, Lechonk was g💟orgeous, Smoliv was just the right amount of camp - it was a strong start. Unfortunately, that fizzled almost immediately.
The first new Pokemon we meet is Flamigo, just a flamingo with a spelling mistake. And it doesn’t even evolve! It’s just a regular flamingoꦦ forever, how fun. I always said Pokemon needed more birds that did nothing. I was getting bored of the birds being vaguely interesting, so this is a much needed revert to tradition.
It&rsꦉquo;s not just Flamigo. There’s als♋o Orthworm, just an earthworm, except metal. Then there’s Tandemaus, just two mice, which evolve into just four mice. I’m not going to justify Dundunsparce’s presence here. Then there’s Veluza, made by an intern who had never used the engine before and was too embarrassed to admit it, and Gholdengo, which answers the question ‘what if a Pokemon was a golden cheese string tree and also it was a gag snowboarder or something?’. And half of them are just Pokemon we’ve seen before but with a funny hat on. I’m all in on Toedscool riffing on Tentacool, and I can live with Wiglett, but Iron Moth, Flutter Mane, and Scream Tail are just silly.
They’re not all terrible, of course. But even the exceptions barely count. I wrote recently about blowing up all my plans to run Oinkologne in my team, but we already knew Lechonk so that feels like a cheat. Greavard, another Pokeꦿmon revealed early, is cute but not really a Pokemon - it’s a low level enemy in Luigi’s Mansion. When I suggested this article, another editor at TheGamer raised Tinkaton as an example of Gen 9’s best designs, but it too is not a Pokemon - it’s a Kirby NPC. Its original stage, Tinkatink, looks like something I could cook up in ten minutes on Microsoft Paint.
A handful of good ones without caveats do exist. Fuecoco’s final form is head and shoulders above Sprigatito’s and Quaxly’s, despite being the only one on all fours. Dachsbun, Pawmot, and Finizen are good too. I think I’m runnin🍷g out of examples now though.
People often get very angry when you disagree with their opinions on Pokemon, so I should really point out that I’m not all that invested in this at 🦂all. I write about toys for a living. I sit at a keyboard and push buttons all day, sometimes stuff like this comes out. I know other generations had bad Pokemon too. I know Gen 1 had just some eggs. We’ve had keys and ice cream before. I don’t even necessarily think Gen 9 is way out in front as the worst ever, but th꧃e bar should be higher.
168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Pokemon Scarlet & Violet is a very strange generation for Pokemon. The open world is undeniably a big swing, and t🌼he characters have a bit more personality and heart than usual, but it’s horribly scaled (which ruins the pacing as there’s no guiding hand), runs like shit, and often feels shallow and empty. It’s an example of Pokemon’s potential and Pokemon’s folly. Mostly though, it’s really quite bad.