Here at TheGamer, we've had a special visitor. A time-traveling journalist (wh♏o isn't me at all, honest) has given us a glimpse of the future. It's an interesting journey for the gaming industry and especially for content creators.
So if you're the kind of person who likes to know what's coming, here are the headl🗹ines from an unspecified time in the not too distant future.
Disclaimer: The actual future may be entirely different from that described in this article, in fact, I'm pretty certain it will be.
Twitch Bans Itself Due To "Error"
After the great abandonment of community guidelines entirely, Twitch daily operations were handed over to a mob of power-hungry trolls, scoured from the depths of Reddit. The criteria for becoming a⭕ moderator was simply that applicants must have strong opinions about gaming and look good in purple.
This new te🐷am set about cleaning u𝕴p the platform. They began by the banning anyone showing cleavage, legs, ankles, wrists or earlobes. Certain exceptions were made of course, but this new rule got rid of... well pretty much everyone.
Once the platform was almost entirely comprised of female streamers whose names begin with A, the moderators got 🅷bored and started hunting for something else to do. An intern, known only 💦as WaZaaa69, got carried away and banned Twitch itself.
In mere seconds Twitch's entire platform was erased from the internet, eliminating all its revenue and income in one stupid move which the company would later claim was "an error." No apology to the remaining creators or further explanation was eve♓r issued.
Ninja Endorses Everything
In a quest for global domination, Ninja began to endorse everyth𓃲ing that would allow him to do so. Not content with his logo plastered on clothing, toys, drinks, and other merchandise, Team Ninja began seeking brand deals with anyone who would a𒊎ccept them.
Pretty soon you could buy Ninja branded gaming accessories and ꦓperipherals as well as vibrant hair dye, ready meals, snacks, and other gaming essentials. There were also more books as well as Ninja inspired games, a tv series, and even a spin-off movie.
After reaching the pinnacle of gaming sponsorships, hav𒉰ing the new Xbox console named the Xbox Ninja in honor of his dedication to the Mixer platform, he peaked.
Shortly afterward, everyone was so sick of the sight of that familiar logo that the sponsorships dried up, citing over-saturation, and Team Ninja💜 began to slowly fade away. Rumors began to circulate that a spiky-haired man had been seen doodling familiar logos onto packets of chips in Walmart, but these were unconfirmed.
Champions Club Gets An Actual Club
After m𓃲aking billions streaming, Dr Disrespect decided to actually build a Champions Club. Buying up acres of land, he set to work ꦫconstructing a vast hotel complex and theme park, which only long term Champions Club members could visit.
Local stores began to report sho൲rtages of red paint as supplies were assembled for the mammoth task. It took several years but eventually, 🍷the complex was unveiled.
The multi-venue entertainment complex and theme park comprised of different themed areas including Fortnite Frontier, PUBG Playground and the Shroud Sucks Stadium. Meanwhile, the hotel was decked out in Champions Club colors and every room had a TV that showed oꦉnly Doc's streams 24 hours a day.
People named Alex soon discover🅰ed that they had to legally change their name in order to be allowed entry.
EA Revealed To Stand For Evil Association
After years of speculation, it was revea♔led that EA does, in fact, stand for Evil Association and not Electronic Arts. Suspicions were raised after prominent Sims team members were arrested after 💛a US-wide basement raid.
It was discovered that popular simulation game The Sims 4 was, in fact, EA's template for a new world order. The c𒅌ompany had been amassing extra money by trapping random people off the streets in basements across the country and forcing them to paint artworks of varying quality, which they sold for a profit.
A raid of EA/Maxis's offices uncovered further details of a secret plot to overthrow the US government and 🐭form a new SimGuruGovernment, which would enable EA to gain enough power to make it illegal to complain about microtransactions.
The attempts were thwarted and The Siꦇms team jailed. Shortly after their incarceration, a mysterious fire broke out, allowing them to flee. They remain at large.
Belle Delphine Exposed When Asked To Play A Game
Self-titled "gamer girl" Belle Delphine continued to market herself as a genuine gamer w𝓰ho just happens to be hot. So hot in fact that she frequently needs ꦰto remove various items of clothing to cool herself down.
After her back began to suffer 𓆏from too many baths in tiny plastic tubs and she got banned from every social media platform in existence, she realized she needed to diversify.
After a long hiatus to think she returned as a "real gaming streamer". Changing her name to Annabelle Delphine, in order to avoid bans on a popular streaming platform, she appeared on stream to play Candy Crush.
Delphine was quickly exposed in a new way when she repeatedly died 🐻on the first level as the "controls were too complex." The incident was followed by a vacation from which she never returned. Some s🥃ay she got arrested but Photoshop failed to prove this rumor true.