Welcome to all of you who have braved the return to our weekly analysis of which Pokemon are hot, and which are not. Editor-in-Chief Stacey Henley and Tabletop Editor Joe Parlock we🔯re born without a shame gland,𒐪 and thus have no problem publicising their opinions on Pokemon smashability.
168澳洲幸运🍬5开奖网:In Kanto, Stacey took a slim, 𝓀one smash lead, finishing with 38 smashes to Joe’s 39. However, the land of baby dorks (168澳洲幸运5开奖网:otherwise known as Johto) scratched Joe’s itch as he had nine more smashes, making for an eight smash lead. Both are trying to maintain a 25 percent success rate, and currentl🌄y sit at 25.9 and 29.1 respectively. Let’s see where the rankings stand after our two hoes of Hoenn are through.
252 Treecko
Stacey: I don&🐽rsquo;t think I’m ever going to smash a first stage starter. Pass.
Joe: We ar𝕴rive in my favourite region, and favourite generation of Pokemon. Unfortunately, we still start with a pass.
253 Grovyle
Joe: I💙 actually prefer Grovyle over Sceptile design-wise. Smash🐲-wise? Too teenagery, so pass.
Stacey: We sa𝔉y that about a lot of the mid-stage꧟ starters, but I don’t think it’s true here. Starting with a smash early.
254 Sceptile
Stacey: Balancing it out, I think it 🧔✨grows into something too ugly and bulky, so we’re passing here.
Joe: Grass-types are usually my favourite, but I really dislike Sceptile. Its head gets too doofy-looking after G🅠rovyle, so a rare second-st🐲age starter pass.
255 Torchic
Joe: I feel like this is a crime. Pass.
Stacey: The babiest of all the starters, ♓ever? Defin🦋itely a pass.
256 Combusken
Stacey: This whole line is terrible. Pass.
Joe: It🃏’s shaped like a willy, but that isn’t enough to get me on b🅰oard. Pass.
257 Blaziken
Joe: At last, some quality. Blaziken is peak 2003 ꦏdesign, with the flame trousers and a bizarre jacket thing. It’s outdated, it’s tacky, yet he makes it work. Smash while we listen to MCR’s Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge album.
Stacey: It’s an ugly man chicken. Pass.
258 Mudkip
Stacey: Another child thing. Pass.
Joe: so i herd u dont liek mudk༒ipz. Pass too, I just♑ wanted to do the meme.
259 Marshtomp
Joe: Marshtomp looks like it’d be bullied at school. Biggest nerdy teenager of all Pokemon, 𝄹and not in the endearing, maybe-I’d-smash-if-we-were-the-same-age way. Pass.
St𒈔acey: I don’t see it at all, it’s j𒁏ust a dork. Pass.
260 Swampert
Stacey: I do see it here, but not enough to commit. Pass.
Joe: I know we’re not meant to be factoring in Mega-evol𓂃utions here, but Swampert is such a borderline case I’m making an exception. Base Swampert is a gentle smash, but Mega Swampert is a really easy, no-thoughts-crush-me-please-my-big-beautiful-himbo smash.
261 Poochyena
Joe: I wouldn&rꦰsquo;t j𓄧udge you, but not for me. Pass.
Stacey: A little too small, so we have to pass.
262 Mightyena
Stacey: Thisඣ is m𝕴ore like it. Hoenn has better delights in store, but I can get on the Mightyena train.
Joe: Our first mutual smash of Hoenn.
263 Zigzagoon
Joe: Sorry, it’s a smash purely on energy alone. This is a rascal; a scamp, and I want to ඣsee what it has to offer.
Stacey: It seems quite dirty, aඣnd not in a good way. Pass.
264 Linoone
Stacey: Cleaner, but ju🥃st not my type I gu😼ess. Pass.
Joe: Really surprised at that, but also a pass.
265 Wurmple
Joe: It’ll be a cꦏold day in Hell before I smash one of the worm Pokemon. Pass.
Stacey: Its time will come, but passing now.
266 Silcoon
Stacey: Still waiting. The Metapo꧙d 🦹experiment was enough.
Joe: If I had to pick between Silcoon and Cascoon, it’d be Silcoon. Fortunately🥂 I don’t have to pick, so𝓀 pass.
267 Beautifly
Joe: I really hope this is the one Stacey’s waiting for and🔯 not Dustox. For me, it’s a very hesitant pass, even if💯 that proboscis looks like fun.
Stacey: Beautifly is gorgeous, of course I was waiting for her. Smash, nܫo quest📖ion.
268 Cascoon
Stacey: I passed on Silcoon, what did you expect?
Joe: Me🌃tapod is looking really𒆙 appealing right now. Pass.
269 Dustox
Joe: Look, I know I went for Parasect and that thing is actually dead, but I can&🌟rsquo;t get over the gross, dead eyes of Dustox. Trypophobe’s nightmare, pass.
Stac🐲ey: I was actually waiting for both, I find Dustox very compelling. Smas🅷h again.
270 Lotad
Stacey: Unbelievably c🥂ute, but not smash worthy. Pass.
Joe: I played Sapphire when it came🐎 out and only just noticed this ꦉthing has six legs. Pass, but I feel like I’ve learned something today.
271 Lombre
🗹Joe: I don&rsq🎐uo;t like the underdeveloped beak, pass.
Stacey: Agreed, the beak is the dealbreaker here.
272 Ludicolo
Stacey: I get it, I don’t want it. Pass.
Joe: More giant pineapple man for me, then. This guy looks like🎉 fun. An❀ easy smash.
273 Seedot
Joe: 🐼As much as I can picture how this’d happen🍨, I don’t want it. Pass.
Stacey: Yeah, ca꧋n&rsq🎶uo;t see this ending well. Pass.
274 Nuzleaf
Stacey: This rugged little go-getter though is a stra🍸ightforward smash.
Joe: Why does it have nippl💮es? Why are this and Miltank the only Pokemon so far with nipples? Why does an acorn boy need nipples? Pass.
275 Shiftry
Joe: Shiftry’s a smash, though. The disconcerting wooden nipples are gone, and that hair is just incrꦯedible.
Stacey: Anoℱther Hoenn line getting better then getting worse. Pas♐s.
276 Taillow
Stacey: It’s just a little bird. Pass.
Joe: My favourite of༒ the early-dex birds, but it’s a pass.
277 Swellow
Joe: This handsome, regal fella ♐is a smash, though. Swellow looks like it’d judge me for being poor, but I’d be his guilty pleasure.
Stacey: I understand it, but given my fear of birds, I need to be true to myself 💫and pass.
278 Wingull
Stacey: I mean, even without the fear. Pass.
Joe: It’s too cute to smash, so pass.
279 Pelipper
Joe: Have you ever seen that weird thing pelicans do, where they regurgitate their spine out of their mouth in꧂ a gross flesh-sack? Anyway, pass on Pelipper.
Stacey: I exp💟ected you to smash to be honest, but it’s an easy 💝pass for me even before that image.
280 Ralts
Stacey: Just a lil runt. Pass.
Joe: Batten d𝐆own the hatches, Stacey’s time is co൩ming. This is a little kid, and I’m not all that fond of the whole line. Pass.
281 Kirlia
Joe: A slightly bigger little kid. Pass.
Stacey: A difficult ethical question, because she is clearly meant to look feminine, and we’re smashing dogs and piles of goo here, but she looks too human, she’s like a little girl. So pass, too uncomf🐬ortable.
282 Gardevoir
Stacey: No question. No doubts. No hesitation. One of the most𓂃 smashable Pokemon in existence. Easy, simple, smash.
Joe: I’d be a fool if I pretended to not get that, Gardevoꦯir is hot. I know her brother is just outside, though, so I’m going to pass.
283 Surskit
Joe: This is the൲ Seedot problem again. I can see the mechanics of it, bꦡut don’t want it. Pass.
Stacey: Even mechanically, I&rsq⛄uo;m not sure I understand. Pass.
284 Masquerain
Stacey: That's more like it. Masquerain is one of the most underrated beauties of Pokemon. Smash for sure.
Joe: Also a smash, giving Masquerain the most attention it’s ever had in its existence. It gets lost in the Beautifuly and Dustox shuffle, but🎉 this is w🌟here it’s at.
285 Shroomish
Joe: Ew, no, fungal infection. Pass.
Stacey: One of the🤪 better mushroom based Pokemon 𓄧but still not for me. Pass.
286 Breloom
Stacey: I respect it but I don’t qui♛te get𓂃 it. Pass again.
Joe: I don’t like the claws, pass.
287 Slakoth
Joe: I adore Slakoth, but it’s moꦇre in the same way I like Slowpoke. Ethically questionable to smash, but I love it all the same.
Stacey: Pass, I hate this line.
288 Vigoroth
Stacey: See above.
Joe: Oh my god I love this line, and it just gets better and better from here. In any other gen, Vigoroth would’ve been the easiest smash, but when🎐 his dad is just around the corner, it’s going to be a nice, respectful smash instead.
289 Slaking
Joe: Words cannot describe how desperately I want to smash. This is a big hunk of man who could do whatever he likes with me. The beard, the brows, the doesn’t-give-a🐲-damn attitude. This is the stuff dreams are made of, so a mega-mega-nuclear smash. And here’sไ Stacey to call me weird…
Stacey: I just hate it. It’s big and ugly, it’s irritating to use, it doe🐭sn’t really fit together as a line… it’s just b♕ad. Pass.
290 Nincada
Stacey: Most of the bugs that just look like lil creepy ꩵcrawlies are going to be a pass.
Joe: Real💖ly solid design, but a solid design does not a smash maಌke. Pass.
291 Ninjask
Joe: It’s a smash for Ninjask, though. It’s got that edgy ‘00s energy that I liked about Blaziken, but in a slightly more cohesive package. I’m picking up what it’s 🔜putting down.
Stacey: I see it, but definitely not my type. Pa𝕴ss.
292 Shedinja
Stacey: Dead bug. Gross. Pass.
Joe: Not even a dead bug, just dead bug skin, which makes it grosser. ꦺPaꦕss.
293 Whismur
Joe: Whismur’s one of thos🌞e annoying, whiny twin💝ks. Pass.
Stacey: I likꦦe Whismur, it’s just not💦 a ‘smash’ kind of like.
294 Loudred
Stacey: You know, Loudre💖d is cute. I like it. Let’s smash.
Joe: Finally, another Loudred liker. Smash.
295 Exploud
Joe: I think Exploud is a little over-d🦹esigned after Loudred, but it’s still a smash.🉐 I don’t like that its lip flesh has moved onto its back, though.
Stacey: Agree that it’s a downgrade but𒐪 not quite enou💜gh to change my mind. A less enthusiastic smash here.
296 Makuhita
Stacey: Cute, but no smash. A running theme.
Joe: It only being one metre tall puts me off smashin🗹g, eve♔n if I like its energy. Pass.
297 Hariyama
Joe: Meanwhile, Hariyama is just over two metres tall, making this a big, smashable boy who can take all kinds of punishment. Not my favourite Fighting-type, but one I will g💜lady smash.
Stacey: Thisꦍ feels like a very obvious Joe smash, but I can see myself with Hariyama too, so it’s another s༒mash.
298 Azurill
Stacey: Here we part ways, however. Pass.
Joe: Flashbacks of Babyville, Johto. Pass.
299 Nosepass
Joe: Would I smash the heads on Easter Island? Maybe? But the thought of them smashing me back is terrifying, ♛so it’s a NosePASS.
Stacey: Well now I have to write a new line if I can&rsq♉uo;t have NosePASS. Let’s try… NOsepass.
300 Skitty
Stacey: Very cute. Not very smashable. Pass.
Joe: I’d understand, but no. Pass.
301 Delcatty
Joe: I’d understand this a bit more than Skitty, but i🌳𝓡t’s still a pass for me.
Stacey: This one is an easy smash. Majest🍌ic and glorious.
302 Sableye
Stacey: I’ve always𒁏 loved Sableye’s energy. He gets ꦅa smash from me any time.
Joe: One of the rare times when gremlin energy actually wo🦋rks, it’s smashes all-round for Sableye.
303 Mawile
Joe: Mawile terrifies me. This is an eldritch bﷺeing whose anatomy I don’t uꦰnderstand. Smash.
Stacey:﷽ I was about to accuse you of terrible taste but you came to the right conclusion. Mawile is one of Hoenn’s many beauties, and maybe the most interesℱting. Smash.
304 Aron
Sta𒁃cey: A lump of metal that is also a child, somehow. Pass.
Joe: I don’t like that it just has a normal huওman name. Aaron. Pass.
305 Lairon
Joe: Hoenn sure does have a lot more smashable middle-evolutions than the other two gens, doesn’t it?🤡 Big, metallic boy gets a smash.
Stacey: It does, bu🎃t I don’t t♔hink this is one of them. Pass.
306 Aggron
Stacey: Not my thing. Pass.
Joe: Absolutely my thing. Smash.
307 Meditite
Joe: Stupid useless on♉i♕on-headed little freak. Pass pass pass.
Stacey: Nah, Meditite seems precocious and intelligent. I have to say s🃏൲mash here.
308 Medicham
Stacey: Unfortunately it gets worse, ♑so pass here.
Joe: I hate this entire line, pass.
309 Electrike
Joe: The only thing I don’t like about Electrike is how long its head is. If it wasn’t for that, I could maybe smash♋. As it is, pass for weird-headed-sparky-dog.
Stacey: It’s on the boജrderline, but it just about works. Smash here.
310 Manectric
Stacey: It gets so much worse. Easy pass. It looks rid🅺iculous.
Joe: Why does the dog-thing evolve into a gibbonꩵ? Pass.
311 Plusle
Joe: I like these Pikachu-clones more than the original, but they are still just ripping off a celebrity hopingౠ to get some of that pizazz. Pass, but I love them both.
Stacey: I get that, but I see thei💞r charm enough. Smash.
312 Minun
Stacey: And Minun makes three. Smash again.
Joe: Same answe🐓r as last time. Love them, but not a smash.
313 Volbeat
Joe: Anyone who says Volbeat is their favourite Pokemon is a liar. Nobod🎀y remembers this. Would smash because he gives off absolutely flaming vibes, but… who cares about Volbeat?
Stacey: I don’t 𒊎particularly care about Volbeat but I love the sassy energy. Smash for sure.
314 Illumise
Stacey: Another underrated gem of the Hoenn isles. Smash for this l𒁏ovely lady.
Joe: Illumise is basi𒊎cally Volওbeat without the sass. Pass.
315 Roselia
Joe: T🅘his gen feels rigged in Stacey’s favour.🍎 Pass.
Stacey: A five-strong smash streak seems to suggest you're correct. Big ol’ smash.
316 Gulpin
Stacey: All things must end. Pass.
Joe: I wish this was a smash so I could make the obvious ‘gulpin’ down this-’ joke, but unfortunately he’s just a gross little blob🧸. Passꦿ.
317 Swalot
Joe: Swalot is still a blob, but a hot one. Maybe not as much as Muk, but one I&🎐rsquo;d still be happy to sink🌟 down into. Smash.
Stacey: I’m not against blobs as a rule, but the little moustache puts me off. Pass for s🦄ure.
318 Carvanha
Stacey: I don&r🧸squo;t trust this thing even a littlᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚe bit. Pass.
Joe: You don’t have to trust something to smash it. The jaw, the ♈brows, the danger, this is a rar😼e fish smash.
319 Sharpedo
Joe: I get he’s mea𒊎nt to look like a bullet, but I don’t 🎶like how Sharpedo just abruptly ends. This shark has a severe lack of cake, so it’s a pass.
Stacey:😼 I didn’t smash Kirlia and Iꦆ won’t smash the ‘pedo. Pass.
320 Wailmer
Stacey: Obviously not.
Joe: Obviously? Obviously nothing𒁏,൩ this is a smash.
321 Wailord
Joe: My smꦛashes tend to skew towards the big boys, but maybe there is an upper limit to that. Wailord isn’t it, though, smash that blue whale.
Stacey: Sticking with ✃my ‘obviously not’ answer.
322 Numel
Stacey: Hitting a dry s༺pell here. Bring back Illumi🌞se.
Joe: Stoner himbo vibe ma🍌kes Numel a surprising sma🅷sh.
323 Camerupt
Joe: This is a 💯sturdy lad, but one I can’t quite ﷺbring myself to smash. Pass.
Stacey: Not the ugliest Pokemon her𒉰e, but a com☂bination of factors makes it perhaps the most unsmashable. Pass.
324 Torkoal
Stacey: Zero appeal here. Pass.
Joe: Smoking is one of those things that’s hotter conceptua♑lly than in practice. Pass.
325 Spoink
Joe: I mean… it&rs🌟quo;s bouncin🐎g anyway? Smash? I think?
Stace🤪y: If it stops bouncing, it dies, which is just too꧂ much pressure. Pass.
326 Grumpig
Stacey: This little rump roast is more like it. Back ღin Smashville.
Joe: I thought this was going to be a 🐻pass, but the more I look at it the moreꦇ I get it. Smash.
327 Spinda
Joe: T❀his one feelsꦯ unethical, he has no idea where he is. Pass.
Stacey: I did not know that and will c🎃arry on regardless because these creatures are fictional anyway. Smash on Spinda.
328 Trapinch
Stacey: It comes ba🐭ck to a lack of trust ℱhere. Pass.
Joe: The simplicity of hi꧂s design is A+, but doesn’t give you a lot to work with when smashing. Pass.
329 Vibrava
Joe: This line makes zero sense. Pass.
Stacey: Yeah, it’s a weird l🌊ine. Vibrava is closer than I’d like to admit, but still a pass all things coღnsidered.
330 Flygon
Stacey: The line 💛redeems itself. A nice little smash at the end of it ☂all.
Joe: This line stiꦓll makes zero sense, but at least it gets kind of hot at the end. Smash.
331 Cacnea
Joe: Love a short king, this is a prickly smash.
Stacey: I was going to wait, but thinking about it, I still see it🦄 with Cacnea. Smash, but not quite as readily as the next one.
332 Cacturne
Stacey: I love this em🌃o dude. Choke me with those spiky saguaro arm🐭s daddy. Smash, definitely.
Joe: I was not expectin⛦g you to be so eager about Cacturne, but I guess historically you have gone𝐆 for the plant people. Cacturn’s definitely a smash, but it does lose some of appeal from Cacnea. Less a king, more just a good smash.
333 Swablu
Joe: Tiny Bird #3 for Hoenn is still a pass.
Stacey: Yep, no choice but to pass.
334 Altaria
Stacey: Altaria deserves its place amongst Hoenn’s heavenly𒆙 beauties, it’s just a sim🅘ple case of ‘not my type’. You deserve happiness though, Altaria.
🦂Joe: Another shock, Hoenn is just full of surprises. The scraggly, scrawꩵny neck really puts me off Altaria, pass.
335 Zangoose
Joe: One of the easiest non-Slaking smashes of this gen. Zangoose is distilled nu-metal energy pushed into a fluffy, fuzzy body. This guy is so angry, and we&rsqu🌌o;d do so much kissing.
Stacey♌: It’s not quite as easy as all that, but Zangoose is stil🎉l a smash for me, too.
336 Seviper
Stacey: I didn’t really get it with t🌳he other snakes, and they weren’t anywhere near this ugly. Pass.
Joe: Overdesigned, and the enemy of my Zangoose✃ is also my enemy. Pass.
337 Lunatone
Jo🉐e: Screw it, I&rs🍬quo;d smash the moon. Why not? Smash.
Stacey: I prefer the other, but I’d also want to check thiꦬs one out. Smash.
338 Solrock
Stacey: Smash again. This🦋 one feels💟 like it would be my favourite.
Joe: I was only smashing Lunatone because it looks endearingly weird. Solrock is just a spiky ball🥀, so it’s a pass.
339 Barboach
Joe: It’s a 🥀fish, and not even a hot one like Carvanha. Pass.
Stac𒈔ey: Yeah there’s just n༒o way this is happening. Pass.
340 Whiscash
Stacey: I suppose I see more appeal here, but still a paꦓss.
Joe: Glad you see the 🦄appeal, because I’m smashing this goofy fish.
341 Corphish
Joe: The dead eyes, the cla🅺ws, the general not-quite-crab-ness of it, absolutely not. Ha♔rd pass.
Stacey: Don&💞rsquo;t trust it, don’t like it. Pꦏass.
342 Crawdaunt
Stacey: As above, but 🗹add in that it is dis🦂gustingly ugly. Pass.
🔯Joe: Well this is awkward, because Crawdaunt has enough pizazz to make me want to smash, despite the crabness.
343 Baltoy
Joe: Throw thiꦡs on the pile with S🍨eedot and Surskit. We all know how, but I don’t want to. Pass.
Stacey: Bring back my girls. My smash ratio is fal✅ling fast. Pass all day.
344 Claydol
Stace𝓰y: The curiosity over this one is definitely worth investigating. Smash on this one.
Joe: Claydol melts when it gets wet, which feels like a dealbreaker for this exercise. I’d want to, but out of concern for its own 🦋safety, it’s a pass.
345 Lileep
Joe: 𓆉Absolutely not, pass for the gross sea-worm-thing𒅌.
Stacey: Live a little. I’ve always thought this line had a little flair that a lot of similar ℱ‘mons lack. Smash.
346 Cradily
Stacey: Another post-evo down✱grade, but not enough to put 🙈me off. Smash again.
J༺oe: Really lowering your standar😼ds for that 25 percent pass rate, huh. Pass for the second gross sea-worm-thing.
347 Anorith
Joe: “🐽Lowering your standards” I say, as I look at Anorith and think he has potential. Not enough to smash, but it came disturbingly close.
Stacey: I said ‘no’ to a lot of 50/50 choices in Johto, which feels against the spirit of the game. I already feel bad for skipping Altaria. That’s to justify Lileep, though. G♏oing nowhere near this one.
348 Armaldo
Stacey: No chance.
Joe: This is a Nidoqueen that felt the need to try too hard. You can’t beat royalty, and Armaldꩵo seems even worse because it tried. Pass.
349 Feebas
Joe: Just wait. For now, it’s a pass.
Stacey: Basically Joe’s answer.
350 Milotic
Stacey: One of the most magnificent Pokemon ever designed. If you wo🦹uld not smash Milotic then I am afraid we cannot be friends.
Joe: Milotic is beauty incarnate, ho🌳w can you not smash the living embodiment of all that is gorgeous💝? Smash.
351 Castform
Joe: I can’t. I can&r𓆏squo;t smash the weather. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.
Stacey: Also it has weird little testicles. Pass.
352 Kecleon
Stacey: I adm❀ire Kecleon, but I do not w൩ant to smash it. A neat, entirely sexless idea. Like Tom Cruise.
Joe: It’s almost impressive how devoid of sex Kecleon is. Pass, but 🎃you go lil’ fella.
353 Shuppet
Joe: Yes we know what it looks𓆏 like, no I won’t smash it. Pass.
Stacey: Yes we know what it looks like, yes I would smas𓂃h it.
354 Banette
Stacey: I have never understood Banette’s origin lore when it evolves from Shuppet, but if we add in the Mega🍷 version, I would smash.
Joe: I can’t put my finger on what it is about Banette that’d make me smash it, but I want to. The Hoenn ghost-types are fantastic, and Banette fee♊ls like the hottest of the bunch.
355 Duskull
Joe: A little guy that manages to not feel like a chil🍨d, Duskull is𓂃 a smash for the goth boy energy.
Stacey: Nah, still a pass. Like a weird Mario ꦆenemy.
356 Dusclops
Sta🍷cey: Maybe a little bett🌊er? Maybe not. Pass all the same.
Joe: This line gets way, way better next g꧒en, but I’d still smash Dusclops. It’s the hands.
357 Tropius
Joe: Ah, Tropius. The Lapra⛦s of the Forest. He feels more grizzled and mature than Lapras, though, which makes this leafy diplodocus a👍 smash.
Stacey: My smash counter iꦫs being ☂thoroughly derailed by Hoenn’s weirdest creatures. Pass for sure.
358 Chimecho
Stacey: Yeah, you know, I’m into this. The red tail isn’t great, but it has a sweet fꦕace. Smash.
Joe: Windchimes make me almost murderously a🤪ngry. They’re antisocia🤡l, inconsiderate, and downright annoying. I would only smash Chimecho with a hammer. Pass.
359 Absol
Joe: I don’t get Absol’s design, but I don’t ne🅰ed to to know this… monkey? Dog? Grim Reaper? Is hot as hell. He can get it. Smash.
Stacey: It’s aꦿ Bai Ze, and it’s also a 🌌smash.
360 Wynaut
Stacey: No babies. Easy rule to follow. Pass.
Joe: “Wynaut”? Bec༒ause it’s a baby, that’♔s wynaut. Pass.
361 Snorunt
Joe: Not officially a baby, but it feels baby enough to be💜 a pass.
Stacey: It doesn&r🍷squo;t necessari🗹ly seem like a baby to me, but it’s still definitely not smashable.
362 Glalie
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Stacey: I𝐆ts sister in a future gen is way h✤otter. Pass.
Joe: Sometimes scary can be hot, b🧸ut not with Glalie. This thing is just a nightmare. Pass.
363 Spheal
Joe: I want to hug it and squeez♏e it, not smash it. Pass, but with love.
Stacey: Yeah, this is pretty much exactly how I feel. Pass here, but I still love ꩲya.
364 Sealeo
Stacey: Another Hoenn mid-stager that br🎉ings its line’s peak, smash-wise. Smash here.
Joe: I like ꧑how giving Sealeo a moustache makes it a smash, but I’m a ꦓsimple guy with simple tastes. Smash.
365 Walrein
Joe: It’s almost too much, now. I’d still smash, but Walrein needs to wal-re💟in it in a bit.
Stac🉐ey: No, this passes smashable and comes back to Pass City.
366 Clamperl
Stacey: Hoenn just isn&r🐽squo;t a very trustworthy gen, is it? Pass.
Joe: I think it꧋’s you that needs to be a bit more trusting, if anything. Pass because it&rꦬsquo;s asleep. And a clam.
367 Huntail
Joe: It’s almost so ‘ew’ it loops back around to ‘y&💙rsquo;know, maybe?’. Almost being the operative word. Pass.
Stacey🐲: This felt like a Joe Sm🔴ash all day long, but an easy pass for me.
368 Gorebyss
Stacey: Gorebyss could get it th💝ough. I know it would kill me afterwards, but it reminds me of Mass Effect’s Morinth. Death is just the price to pay. Smash.
Jo✤e: “When it spots prey, 🧸this Pokemon inserts its thin mouth into the prey’s body and drains the prey of its body fluids”. Pass.
369 Relicanth
Joe: Yeah I’ll s♎mash the prehistoric grandpa-fish, why not?
Stacey: There’s the weird,ౠ unexplainable Joe Smash I was expecting. A pass from me, a normal person. Well, relatively.
370 Luvdisc
Stacey: I know I said I was normal, bওut I’m smashing Luvdisc, so take that into account I guess.
𒐪Joe: I just don’t see how this one would work, which after ghosts, goo, and multiple fish is surprising. Pass.
371 Bagon
Joe: I hate how top-heavy Bagon is. Like 50 percent of it🌳s♈ body mass is in its gross head, and none of it is in the arms. Pass.
Stacey: Like a Machop with a head injury. Pass.
372 Shelgon
Stacey:🌜 Two buttholes, one of which has eyes inside it. P♕ass, but I see why that description appeals, I guess.
Joe: If I was going purely off of your description, it would’ve been a smash. Unfortunately, I’m looking at Shelgon right now and it’s like a rugby ball that doesn’t want to be alive anym𒉰ore. Pass.
373 Salamence
Joe: Oh baby is this a smash. Crush me, big d❀ragon daddy.
Stacey: I don’t see the inherent appeal with dragons the way I clearly do with other creatures, so I’m passing with acknowledgꦜement that Salamence h𝄹as everything you need to be smashable.
374 Beldum
Stacey: What if your vibrator had three🃏 razor blades at thꦿe end of it? I’d pass, that’s what.
Joe: Okay, this is one of those “untrustworthy” Pokemon you’ve mentioned. I get it, now. Beldum doesn't, though. Pass.
375 Metang
Joe: And now we enter possibly the smashiest-stretch of Pokemon in the entire dex. Those big, strong arms may be made of metal, but♊ we’d still cuddle. Smash.
Stacey: I am going to be the second biggest hoe in Hoenn, I just know it. Passing here, and will be passing on ꧂a few of this mysterious upcoming streak.
376 Metagross
Stacey: I love this ꦇshiny especially, but it’ꦉs not smash-worthy. Or is it…?
Joe: It’s a slight downgrade fro🍬m Metang, but I’d still smash it and𒊎 remember the fonder days.
377 Regirock
Joe: The hottest of the three Regis, Regirock is a big, strong man. Golem. P🙈okemon. Whatever, it’s big and I want to smash.
St🍨acey: I hate the Regis and this one is🌃 the worst. Pass.
378 Regice
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Stacey: If I had to pick a Regi, and for completionists sake I feel I do, it would be Regice, sꩵo we’ll smash and see where that gets us.
Joe: Regice is the least-smashable of ཧthe Regis for me, but it is a hunk of ice, and Rule of♛ Cool goes a long way. Smash.
379 Registeel
Joe: If Regice is the least smashable, and I still smashed it, it only stands to reason Registeel can get smashed too. I like how sꦍmooth ♍and round it is.
Stacey: One was enough. Pass.
380 Latias
St📖acey: The𝔉 most smashable Legendaries ever. Sign me up for both twins. Definite smash.
Joe: There’s a slight bli🥃p in my Hoenn smash stretch, unfortunately. I just don&rsquജo;t like Latias as much as Latios, so it’s a pass.
381 Latios
Joe: Hell yeah, Dragon Plane Boy can have a smash 🔜though. Sorry, Latias.
Stacey: I said both twins and I mean🍨t both twins. Smash al𒀰l day.
382 Kyogre
Stacey: I made a big show of passing Wailmer and co., but I think I’m smꦦashing here. Something compelling about it.
Joe: Weirdly, I’m more sold on Wailmer than Kyogre, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t smash the legendary god of the seas. Those big fl🦄ippers remind me of Lugia, too, who we already decided is incredibly hot.
383 Groudon
Joe: Kyogre’s 🌳♊a no-brainer, of course I’m smashing the walking JCB digger.
Stacey: This is a Digimon. An ugly Digimon. Pass.
384 Rayquaza
Stacey: I love Rayquaza, but I don’t think it’s🍬 especially smashable. I wouldn’t even know how to say its name when I’m screaming it💝 out.
Joe: Rayquza has th🤪e same appeal as Arbok. It’ll be too busy choking me for me to be doing any screaming. I’m not big on the red teeth, but it’s still an enthusiastic smash.
385 Jirachi
J꧋oe: Finally, a Legendary🌠 I can pass on. This is a child.
Stacey: aks𝔍hully it’s a 3,000 year old dragon inside a child’s body. You know, I don’t see ‘childlike’. I see a celestial body of purity. I think it has to be a smash.
386 Deoxys
Stacey: Well, I&rsq♔uo;m going to be a distant second place and lose sight of Joe eve💞n further with this gen, but at least I can end on a smash.
Joe: I was obsessed with 𒁃Deoxys when I was a kid. Defeඣnse forme is probably my favourite, but I’d smash it in any configuration.
Final Score
Stacey: 43/135 = 31.1 percent (overalღl tot⛎al 108/386 = 28 percent)
Joe: 53/135 = 39.3 percent (overall total 126/3ꦑ86 = 32.6 percent)
Joe wins Hoenn by an impressive (or perhaps humiliating) ten smashes, which gives him a 18 smash lead overall. As Pokemon become more like humanoid women, Stacey c🎃ould close that gap, but it will take decisive action. Next week, we’re in Sinnoh, Stacey’s and Joe’s least favourite gen, so we might see a lot more passes. Probably not, though.
