If you’re a long-time follower of Game Freak’s beloved Pokémon franchise, you’ll have noticed one thing about the series: there are a whole holy heck of a lot of Pokémon now, aren’ﷺt there?

Imagine traveling back to the days of Pokémon Red and Blue, and telling everyone that, twenty years in the future, there’ll be almost one thousand of the damn things. What would they have said? They’d have laughed in your crazy, gray-whiskered face (because this is what every time traveler looks like, a🌊ccording to the world of sci-fi), and dragged you off to the town square to be burnt at the stake. This being how demented old prophets are treated and all.

The 2017 natives among us know this to be the truth, though. As of Pokémon Sun and Moon, we’ve got mega forms, Alolan forms, Ultra Beasts, umpteen hundred new regular Pokémon… it’s getting batcrap 🎶crazy. The good 🍷old-fashioned quest to catch ‘em all is becoming harder and harder as the numbers swell.

But let’s not think about the end of the journey for now. Instead, how about the start? At the opening of each new main series title, the player is given a choice from among three ‘starter’ Pokémon. They’re a big deal during the pre-release hype, as we choo🤡se favorites in advance, ponder what evolutions will look like, all of that good stuff. Starter Pokémon are not all created equal, though. On that note, settle in as we rank them all from worst to bes✅t.

22 Turtwig

I’m sorry, Turtwig. I really am. You’re my favorite design for a Grass starter in the history of the series. That adorable little sprout on your head is the cutest thing I’ve ever feasted my squishy eyestalks on. With that said, though, I’ve got to be true to the voice in my head, and it’s saying Hey! Hey, you! Turtwig sucks, doesn’t it?

Much as I pride myself on my experimental Pokémon teams and sets, I’ve never quite found a place for the Turtwig line. Defensively and offensively, it’s passable-to-meh, which means that there’s always soไmething that can do its job better. Its Grass/Ground typing is unique, so there’s a cool point right there, but it 🍎leaves it vulnerable to too much in the long run.

21 Tepig

Tepig is another starter that endeared itself to me from the off. A cute little fire pig? This guy w♚as just begging for a cheap and craptacular bacon-based nickname, not to mention a place in my𓄧 crusty old heart.

Still, as a couple of failed relationships have taught me, there’s much more to the story than appearances alone. Emboar is one awkward mamma-jamma to use, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it has the kind of pain-in-the-ass speed stat which is a little too fast for Trick Room, and just too sl♚ow without it. Its stat distribution, in general, is really odd, too, sporting woeful defenses and high HP. To be used best, it wants to be firing off recoil-causing moves and abusing its hidden ability, Reckless, but that’s darn hard to pull off.

20 Chikorita

Oh, and here comes another. When it comes to sღuper cute starters who suckered🔯 me in and then crushed my dreams into shattered shards of sadness and disappointment, I’m 3 for 3 so far in this countdown.

Chikorita is, for all intents and purposes, the most generic Grass starter Pokém𓃲on that Game Freak could possibly have created. It’s like a walking, sucking checklist of everything that makes your average Grass Pokémon. It’s defensively-orientated, it can support the rest of the party by healing their status problems with Aromatherapy, and it can be quite the douche status-spreader itself. All of these traits are common for Grass types, and they make the Chikorita line seem very run-of-the-mill to me as a result. It’s decently tanky in the lower tiers, but that’s about the best you’ll get out of it.

19 Popplio

There’s (almost) always one, isn’t there? Usually, with each new Pokémon generation’s starter trio leak, there’ll be a black sheep of the family. A slightly shonkier-looking member of the Fire/Water/Grass group. The underdog. The weird kid in class. For Sun and Moon, th♕ere can be no denying that Popplio was 🍰that kid.

This odd little clown seal thing became a meme almost immediately upon its reveal. Nobody quite knew what the make of the little guy, but there was a whole lot of contem🌠pt flying around. If Litten was the super popular jock of the three, then Rowlet was the hipster choice, and Popplio was the obsessive My Chemical Romance fan. Granted, it evolves into the elegant-looking and not sucky at all Primarina, but it’s a long road to get there.

18 Chespin

Chespin is anot✨her starter whose concept I really liked. As ideas for rock solid, defensive plant-based Pokémon go, how could you go wrong with a chestnut? Being from Merry Olde England, I’ve played the classic old game of Conkers many times, and know just how hard these things’ shells can be to break through. Damn those spines, they’re like Satan’s own sea urchins.

And so the Chespin line was born. Characterized by its high ph🍬ysical defense and organic armored body, this thing had all the hallmarks of a great tank on the special side. In practice, though, it’s 💞never quite lived up to that potential for me. It’s tough being a Grass type, with their many weaknesses, and this severely limits Chesnaught’s ability to take hits.

17 Squirtle

I know, I know. Forget Sophie’s Choice, this is the truly difficult stuff right here. Again, I'm loathed to rank Squirtle, the coolest and funkiest of all badass shade-wearing t💎urtles, so low. The thing about that is, I’m trying my damn hardest to be impartial here.

Times have changed, after all. Our original starter squad from 1998 aren’t the same Pokémon they used to be. We’ve got the fancy-ass new-fangled Mega Venusaur, Mega Charizard, and Mega Blastoise to consider now. In that trio, Blastoise is definit൲ely the weak link. The two Mega Charizards are real monsters, as we’ll see later, and Mega Venusaur is an incredible tank; the damn thing shrugs off bullets like The Terminator.

Mega Blastoise is pretty darn powerful itself, ꦜbut it doesn’t have the speed to be the sweeper it really wants to b🅘e. The weaker of the three by some way in my view.

16 Treecko

I have quite mixed feelings about T💎reecko. On the one hand, it’s a grassy gecko, and that’s something I think we could all use in our lives. I tend to make my starter choices based on the sorts of Pokémon I’d love to have as pets in real life, after all. The more exotic (turtles, lizards) the better in my view. On the other, it’s ✅a little sub-par.

Sceptile is super fast, there’s no taking that away from it. It’s built to be a swift sweeper, but it’s lacking a little in the offense department. I’ve had some success wiꦚth its mega form,🦋 which is a fairly potent (and insanely fast) Grass/Dragon revenge killer, but you can’t expect too much from this thing besides that.

15 Oshawott

A lot of the time, starter Pokémon get a bad rap. In any given generation, they are never really the best available, competiti💮ve wise. Oftentimes, they are strictly all-out bad, they are just not the optimal choice. In a harsh and cutthroat world like competitive Pokémon (yep, really, this is a damn vicious place), if you aren’t the very best like no-one ever was, you’re going to be cast aside🉐. Abandoned and doomed, like Leonardo DiCaprio as the Titanic sank and he wasn’t allowed up on the big door.

Oshawott is one such example. The water type Samurott makes a decent name for itself in the𝕴 lower tiers, and can be quite a potent and 🌳versatile attacker. Physical, special, or mixed, it can get the job done. There’s no way it could compete with the best of the best, however.

14 Fennekin

As I say, starter Pokémon ar✱e always among the first to be thrust into the limelight at the beg🦩inning of each new generation. From the moment their designs are revealed, the poor guys are poked, prodded, papped and speculated about, like Tinsel Town celebrities. Are they just putting on weight, or are they pregnant? I’ve no idea, but THE WORLD MUST KNOW.

That’s the problem with all this speculation, when you’ve just got a leaked image to go on. The facts can change, and you can realize you’re entirely wrong. Prior to Pokémon X and Y’s release, Fennekin was a huge fan favorite. In battle, however, it proved to be quite underwhelming. The unusual Fire/Psychic typing is neat, but Delphox didn’t excel in any one a🉐rea and was a bit of a disappointment.

13 Pikachu

As we all know, the main series Pokémon titles tend to follow a very specific formula. Part of this sees the player always choosing from among a trio of starter ‘mon to kick off their adventure with. There’s only one exception to this particular rule: 1998’s Pokémon Yellow. In this enhanced edition of the original titles, the player is given a Pikachu at the s🌊tart of the game, and it will be their companion throughout their🧸 journey.

What can I really say about Pikachu? It’s the mascot, the squishy little y𓂃ellow face of Pokémon. In the game, it’s a little lackluster; it refuses to evolve with a Thunder Stone and so will always be pretty darn weak as a result. On the plus side, it just seemed ‘right’ having a Pikachu right alongside you from the off, and man was it power over Misty.