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Look, I'm not a furry. At least, not publicly. W♉hat kind of perso𒁏n would be into muscular lizard women in exercise clothes? Not me, that's for sure. That'd be bananas.
B﷽ut today, halfway through this truly wretched year,🦹 Sony officially broke my brain.
First off, they announced a new Ratchet & Clank. This was the series that kicked off my adventures on the PS2. One of the best Christmas gifts I ever got was in 2003, when my parents got me a PS2 and a copy of the very first game. I spent nine straight hours that day hunched over in front of our CRT TV, hopping from planet to plꦛanet and blowing the living heck out of everything around me.
So it felt special, on a personal level, to see my lads come back. When I was a wee lass, I could've never imagined seeing the colorful, creative worlds of the franchise rendered with such loving attention to detail. But I also could've never imagined my reaction to the ending of Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart's dynamite first trailer.
The stinger, which only lasts for a few seconds, shows the titular heroes going through a dimensional portal and crashing into the ground. Clank dusts himself off, then looks around for his friend. Only he isn't there.⛄ In his place is a striking, blue Lombax who looks an awful lot lik🌜e Ratchet.
In that moment, I became a complete simp.
Now, simp, a gender-neutral term, has had a historically negative connotation. But in recent months, Horny Twitter (or as I like to call it, Literally All Of Twitter) has taken the moniker in as one of its own. These days, it's not uncommon for people to say they're "simping" for somebody. In case you're not one of the cool kids, the phrase can be interpreted as a more traditional phrase, like "gee, you look like a swell gal" or "dan nicky your bobbie s." For more on the simping phenomena, please read Eric Switzer's 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:elucidating piece on findom.
But back to girl Ratchet. In an instant, in a sudden flash of ins✅piration, I feel like I truly began to inhabit the mind of a simp. Whoever this primary-hued and fuzzy lass was - Ratchet on 2+ years HRT and FFS, or another Lombax entirely - I was going to stan her. I was going to hang on her every word. I was going to like and comment on every picture she ever posted.
If s🐟he had a weird furry OnlyFans (OnlyLomaxes?), I was going to swallow my pride and get a top-tier subscription.
🔥I was going to simp for t𓂃his Lombax. I was going to simp at all costs.
Maybe it's that she has pretty eyes and a cute little nose. Maybe it's that she could club me to death with a wrench. Maybe her little tuft of hair is just the cutest. Maybe it's the goggles. Maybe it's because I'm actually a furry. But seeing Girl Ratchet ꦇ(Ratchette?)🌼 come to life made me truly simp for the first time in my life.
And I'm never going back. Stan Girl Ratchet. She's valid🌃 and I love her♒.
Editor's Note: Bella was let go from TheGamer shortly after typing the last word of this piece. We sincerely apologize for your having read it.
Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart is coming to PlayStation 5 sometime soon.