Summary
- Skyrim's humor stems from repeated NPC lines like guards mocking dragons and stolen sweetrolls.
- Guards in Skyrim make witty, sarcastic comments about the Dragonborn's equipment and actions.
- The game features hilarious quotes from NPCs, adding to its lasting popularity and meme culture.
It might be hard to believe, but 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim is over a decade old.𒁃 Even so, it remains as popular today and has generated its own meme culture and humor among the player comm𒅌unity.
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Much of the hilarity in Skyrim stems from how the game was made. 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Non-player characters (NPCs) tend to repeat some iconic lines of dialogue, which, in combination with certain situations, is pure comedy gold only players of Skyrim or previous The Elder Scrolls games will understand. So, if you've forgotten how much of a gutbuster Bethesda's 🌱game was, here are some hilarious quo𒅌tes from NPCs.
Updated January 9, 2025 by Britt Poteet: Despite being an older game, Skyrim remains popular. As we move into a new year, we've added a couple more funny quotes to this list to keep the article relevant and up-to-date.
22 "Another Wanderer, Here To Lick My Father's Boots. Good Job."
- From: Nelkir from Whiterun
What is this little runt's problem? It's not like you wanted to be in Whiterun in th🍨e first place. For the record, you're also not Jarl Balrguuf's bootlicker, no matter how fine his banquets and bearskin rugs are in the cold of the winter. Nelkir is Jarl Balgruuf's son, and we can only hope he turns out like his father.
Because, as he is right now in Skyrim, he's on his way to becoming a spoiled and bratty monarch. Also, he's probably one of the reasons why Skyrim didn't allow children to be killed (apart from age rating). Nelkir talks a lot of smack for someone in Fus Ro Dah distance. The developers likely thought many players would try to punish this ki🗹d.
21 &qu🎐ot;Dragonborn, Huh? Was It Your Ma Or Your Pa That Was The Dragon?" 🅘
- From: Guards and mercenaries
Guards never fail to amuse in Skyrim; this line above is just another one of their inadvertent𝕴ly witty quips. It's also a testament to how some of the Nords don't take the whole Dragonborn prophecy seriously. But how could they? It seems like Alduin randomly chose you in the middle of the beheading and made you Dragonbor𓃲n.
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Also, it seems no one apart from the Greybeards knows how Dragonborn are created. So now there's this wei𝕴rd rumor going around that Dragonborn exists because some guy or gal had the hots for a giant fire-breathing giant lizard.
20 "Either I'm Drunk, Or You're Naked. Possibly Both."
- From: Bystanders if you're naked— or if they're drunk. Possibly both.
One of the finest attention-to-detail triggers added to Skyrim is how NPCs168澳洲幸运5开奖网: will always make some side comments rega𒁃rding your stature. Thiဣs one's easy to draw out of NPCs; all you have to do is strip all your clothes down to the underwear.
These comments usuall☂y happen in a tavern or bar wher𒊎e almost everyone is inundated with the finest Nord mead. It also goes to show just how much alcohol the people of Skyrim consume on a daily basis. Plenty of them drink themselves to the point where everyone they see is naked. Or maybe you're really just naked.
19 "My Cousins Out 🐟Fighting Dragons, And What Do I Get? Guard Duty."
- From: Guards
You have to wonder what goes on in a c🐲ity guard's day-to-day life. Some of them are so bored out of their wits that they crave action and dragon fi🍷ghts. Hence, that Skyrim quote above is one of the common complaints you'll hear from inactive guards.
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The funny thing is, with Skyrim being as buggy and glitchy as it is even now, guards will still blurt thi💛s out even if they just fought a dragon five minutes ago. But in their defense, you probably absorbed the dragon, so there's not much evidence of their achievement.
18 "Skyrim Is Now Host To Giant, Flying Lizards And Two-Legged Cat-men, And You're Surprised By Me? Yes. I Just Talked. And Am Continuing To Do So."
- From: Barbas
While traversing around Skyrim, you may 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:encounter a dog searching for his master. Unexpectedly, the dog speaks English. When you are startled a𝔍t this realization, he reacts with great offense, bringing yꦍou this gem of a quote.
Yes, despite the flying lizards and cat-people, a talking dog is still surprising. Especially when you find out he belongs to the Daedric Prince of Po꧋wer, Trickery,♛ and Bargains.
17 "Nords Are So Serious About Beards. So Many Beards. M'aiq Thinks They Wish They Had Glorious Manes Like Khajiit."
- From: M'aiq the Liar
Those uppity Nor🅰ds think they're so superior and that Skyrim belongs only to them when in fact, their facial hair pales in comparison to the Khajiit! These kittens had beards and mustaches from the day they were born. Tౠhey also grew up with a healthy side diet of hairballs as a consequence.
In any case, M'aiq is one out-of-place Khajiit in Skyrim.🍷 Often, he introduces himself to you as a random encounter and he'll impart some unconventional wisdo🅘m your way, such as how his father was also called M'aiq and how to grow a beard with a special potion he sells. Classic M'aiq.
16 🦩 "Iron Sword Huh? What Are You Killing? 🐷Butterflies?"
- From: Guards
It's no secret that the guards in Skyrim are proud and 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:knowledgeable about their swords. While they might 🍌not have the best gear themselves, they always seem to have a comment or two ready to roast the Dr🦋agonborn's arsenal. In particular, carrying a cheap iron sword might inspire this backhanded comment.
Although this mi♒ght be pretty embarrassing to hear, it's probably best to 💛just keep walking, quietly go buy a better sword, and avoid causing a scene. Guards are a bit of a pain to deal with when attacked, especially in groups.
15 "No Lollygaggin'."
- From: Guards
Has anyoꦛne ever seen a guard do anything actually productive? Most of the time, these guys seem to just stand around the city and observe while making snarky comments about the Dragonborn or lamenting about getting an arrow to the knee. And yet, they dare tell the Dragonborn not to lollygag.
Why is this a✃ rule in the first place? And what would be the punishment for it? It seems like the guards not only want people not to steal, but everyone should be a productive member of society. Sounds pretty authoritarian.
14 "If I Had A Sister, I'd Sell Her In A Second."
- From: Belethor the Breton in Whiterun
There's no merchant quit♛e like Belethor the Breton, in the iconic city of Whiterun, running his general store by the marketplace. Known for always being energetic and overly eager to sell his wares, he gets pretty annoying after a while. That being said, he does have a couple of lines that make him one of the most entertaining NPCs.
He often tells the 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Dragonborn everything's for sale at his store and that if he had a sister, he would sell her in an instant. Sounds like Belethor is a cold-blooded businessman if he's serious, and there's always a hint of truth🧜 in a joke.
13 "Why The El⛦ven Blade, Huh? Nord Steel Not Good Enough For You?"
- From: Guards
Most of the guards around Skyrim are Nords. While there's no actual proof of this, it's pretty easy to deduce it from their Nordic acce🐲nt and just from the general way they seem to praise Skyrim's culture and traditions. Nords are incredibly proud as well, which is why they blurt out a lot of gems like these.
Carry an elven sword in any of the cities of Skyrim, and some guard will no doubt approach you to roast you for not having a tradi🅘tional Nordic sword. Even if the sword is objectively better, they seem stuck in their ways.
