One day, when I was watching some of the classic Star Trek episodes from the olden days with a friend, her little brother walked into the room. At that moment, Captain Kirk was onꦰ the screen, wrestling with a Gorn. The young boy took in the fight scene on the televisionඣ, then said, "Oh look, it's Captain Pork Chops." His sister and I shared a quizzical glance, then burst into peals of laughter.
To this day, I have no idea why her little brother called Captain Kirk "Captain Pork Chops." Maybe he was referring to the weird karate chops that Kirk utilizes in combat more than his phaser gun. Who knows? All I could think about was how little sense it made to nickname the infamous Star Trek captain after a cut of meat.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that her little ༒brother was probably a secret genius. Calling Kirk "Captain Pork Chops" makes absolutely no sense, but if you think about it, the character of Captain James Tiberius Kirk makes no sense either. It's like the kid somehow sensed the ridiculousness of the character and decided to label him with a ridiculous name in return. I know, I know, I'm placing way too much credence on the random words of a little boy. But let's just take a look at the character of Captain Kirk for a while. Read on if you want to see if Kirk is more nonsensical than what I'm currently hypothesizing.
25 What Pri🀅me Directive?
The Prime Directive is a mandate handed down to starship captains from the Federation. If your ship comes into contact with an alien race, you are not to assist in its growth or hinder its development. Rꦉather, you are supposed to let the natural order of things take place.
Does that sound anything like what Captain Kirk does in any episode (or even movie) of Star Trek? Kirk treats the Prime Directive like a used tissue waiting to be thrown out at the drop of a hat. Why hꦅasn't he been demoted already?
24 A Father Figure Exce⛎pt To His Son ❀
Sure, Kirk is a hotheaded captain who is prone to random fistfights, but for the most part, he is also a reliable leader to the crew of ♈the Enterprise. He🍌 guides them through their problems and aids them in their quests.
When Kirk met his son for the first time, you would think he would have assumed the same kind of role for the young man as he had for his crew. Nope! For the most part, Kirk leaves his son, David, to his own devices. Apparently, getting to kno൩w your own child is for lesser🗹 beings.
23 ෴ A Handyman For All Occasionﷺs
Normꦡally, the running of a starship is left to the engineering crews under the direction of the lead engineer. On the Enterprise, the second officer is Montgomery Scott, affectionately known as Scotty. He is the man to turn to whe🌞n things go wrong with the engines of the Enterprise.
W൩hen Kirk finds himselꦐf alone on the Enterprise (or on a simulacrum of the Enterprise), we find that he also has the know-how to keep the starship running. Specialization is not a thing of the future, it seems.
22 A 𝕴Tactical Mind
168澳洲幸运5开奖网:In the Star Trek universe, Captain Kirk is known as being one of the most tactical of starship captains in the Federation's long history. You've got to 💃be kidding me. Have any future generations of starship captains really analyzed Kirk's "tactics🦩?" They're inane!
He goes it alone when he should take back-up, he antagonizes people who are threatening him, and he falls into traps faster than a meteor falls from space. Captain Kirk is the exact opposite of tactical.
21 🍌 A Crew Without A Command
This flaw is lays at the feet of every sing🌳le member of the command crew, but sinc𝓡e Kirk is the captain, the buck stops at him. All too frequently, Kirk places himself and his command crew in peril needlessly.
Landing parties should consist of scouts and security forces, with medical personnel accompanying them as needed. In no way should the captain, first officer, medical officer, second officer, and꧙ helmsman comp𝓡rise a landing party. That's like all of the command crew in one dangerous spot. Not good.
20 Captain Kirk, Tꦚhe Drama King
Maybe my friend's little brotheཧr called Captain Kirk "Captain Pork Chops" because he could🐽 tell that Kirk loves to "ham it up." (Yes, I might be going overboard with the pig puns.) He would not be wrong.
Even if we don't examine William Shatner's acting ability, Kirk seems to adore dramatizing moments. Take, for example, that part in The Wrath of Khan when everybody is worrying about how they will escape the core. Kirk sent out a message to the Enterprise, but he didn't tell aꦉnybodyꩲ about it, leaving everyone to writhe in anxiety while he calmly ate an apple.
19 🍬 🐓 Society Wrecker
Kirk does not simply ignore the Prime Directive. When he decides to interfere with a burgeoning society, boy, does he interfere. He has ended soc𒁃ieties, weaponized societies, started societies, you name it, he's done it.
If there's a fresh society he comes into contact with, he messes with it.
How has Captain Kirk not gotten reprimanded by the Federation or Starfleet? Or, at the very least, how come karma has not risen up li🍒ke a cobra and bitten Kirk in the form o🎶f a societal upheaval that messes with the entire galaxy?
18 🌟 Make New Friends But Keep The Old 🅘
I would not want to be a former acquaintance of Captain Kirk. He has a track record of losing old friends in weird ways.
In more than one episode of the original Star Trek series, a long-time friend of the Captain's would be introduced, and then he or she would find themselves in a sticky situation that either wounds them or tꦑurns them into possessed persons. The circumstances are just too unlikely. It is as if evꦚery time Kirk runs into an old friend, they're doomed.
17 ꦺ Stop Time Traveling 🙈
The only people who should be allowed to time travel are the Doctor (who's a freaking Time Lord, it's in the name) and Rick (from Rick and Morty). Captain Kir♑k should avoid time travel whenever possible.
Kirk has 17 temporal violations, more than anyone else in Starfleet.
That means he has mucked with different timelines and dimensions. Sure, these make for some interesting plots. But the Federation definitely should have p🍌unished Kirk for that, right?
16 A Captain's Code Of Ethi♛cs 🎃
A captain is in a position of power on his or her starship. As such, a code of ethics should exist to protect the crew from egregious displays of power from the🤡 captain. Excessive amorous behavior, for example, is one such display.
Unfortunately for the crew of the Enterprise, Captai꧃n Kirk has been unable to curb his lascivious desires when it comes to the female members of his crew. His 🦄romantic liaisons should have violated some Federation code of conduct at some point.