It’s the most wonderful time of the year. No silly, not Christmas, I’m talking about 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:The Game Awards. Geoff Keighley is set to open his bulging sack of world premieres this evening🦩 and spoil us with so many unexpected surprises. Except all the ones that already leaked, got teased by some insiders on Twitter, or just aren’t all that unexpected because capitalism is a thing and most of the popular ideas will get either sequels or reboots. Hooray for gaming!
While there’s a 𝔍number of things we expect to see tonight, I’d rather talk about the far-flung possibilities and continuous pipe dreams that keep my fellow gamer up at night. Gems that would only ever take to the stage once in a blue moon as the stars align and the mountain dew runs red. Let’s look at fiv👍e things that definitely won’t appear at The Game Awards.
5 - Awards
Let’s be real, for an awards show, there aren't a lot of them to be found at The Golden Keighleys. Loads of them are punted out during the pre-show, rushed through during other categories, or even allocated to press releases and Twitter posts. It’s always been shameful, a betrayal of the show’s namesake and Keighley’s wish to celebrate games and those who made them possible instead of promoting the next big thing.
I understand you must always ride a line to pay the bills, but the reality is so transparent that each passing year becomes more and more depressing. So this year, just get rid of the awards altogether. All I want to see is adverts for razors, soft drinks, and those sweet, sweet world premieres. Feed me li🌠ke the thirsty little IP slut I am, Geoff.
4 - Meaningful Change For The Industry
After it became clear that Geoff Keighley’s rejection of toxic industry practices during last year’s show was actually orchestrated with the help of Activision-Blizzard, I’ve lost hope in the show advocating for positive systemic change. It was all a cover-up, a smokescreen to keep the big wigs in The Game Awards pockets while simultaneously protecting them from any real consequences. Fast forward to 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Summer Game Fest and everyone is chummy꧑ again, so it’s clear this meant nothing to Geofꦺf, the show, or what it hopes to stand for.
3 - Good Taste
I am including this at the behest of Editor-In-Chief Stacey Henley, and she is right on the money with this one. The Game Awards have always tried to replicate the pride and pompousness of The Academy Awards or The Grammys, believing the medium has earned a right to stand alongside the other artistic greats with equal circumstance. In certain ways it has, but such even footing will never be possible if we keep presenting the show like it’s The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cory Barl𓆉og walked on stage to present a♛n award only to immediately get slimed by gamer goo and covered in Doritos dust, all while we fade to black into an advert for the next season of Warzone.
2 - Hideo Kojima’s Modesty
Rumours are pointing to a big reveal at The Game Awards for Hideo Kojima. He is currently hanging out with Jordan Peele instead of doing any work, so I imagine we are finally going to see the reveal of his next big project tonight. For the record, I loved 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Death Stranding, and will likely eat up whatever this mad lad cooks up next, but we all know it’s going to be treated like the second coming of Christ when the time comes. Keighley will smile awkwardly at us while staring innocently down at his shoes, pretending that the reveal to come is just another world premiere like the rest of them. They'll be bright lights, loud music, and maybe even a kiss between our two favourite gamer boys. What if they smooch just before the trailer plays, and we’re left in adorable suspense as Kojima’s weird zombie metaverse project is revealed?
1 - An Elden Ring Trailer
It will probably win GOTY and countless other gongs alongside 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:God of War Ragnarok, but part of me is relieved that finally, after years of edging, Keighley can no longer hold the sick promise of 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Elden Ring over our heads. He just loves tweeting not-so-cryptic teases about the things he’s seen and how every single show he ever hosts༒ is going to blow our useless little minds, when in reality it’s probably something most of us will see coming. But hey, at least it isn’t Elden Ring, maybe it’ll be replaced by whatever FromSoftware is making next.
