168澳洲幸运5开奖网:The Witcher 3 is full of romance and murder, so it’s fair to say that Geralt is playing Snog, Marry, Kill on a daily basis. One day 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:he’s snogging Keira, the next he’s marrying (picking) Yennefer, and then he’s off to kill a few drowners. But me and Geraജlt have fairly different tastes, so what if I had full control over how we spent our time in The Witcher 3?
For one, I wouldn’t marry (pick) 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Yennefer or Triss, sidestepping෴ that whole can of worms. Secondly, forget killing monsters, I have my eyes on a few annoying characters that could put our steel sword to use. And, as for snogging, maybe I’d makeout with a troll, a nightwraith, or even a vampire (before they go all bug-eyed monster). Morbid curiosity and all that.
There’s a lot of choice in The Witcher 3, but not a lot of fun, out there choices. It’s mo💦stly Geralt getting with witches and high society women, but I have a few more interesting picks for Snog, Marry, Kill.
Snog: The Baron
168澳洲幸运5开奖网:The Baron is a bit of a dickhead. I say a bit of - he’s a massive twat. He’s abusive, drives his family out, gets pissed and burns his own barn down (with his 🐓own people inside), and has some of the worst yes-men kissing his boots. But I don’t want to kiss his boots. I want to snog him, mostly just to see what his reaction would be. “Geralt, where’s ME wi-” cut off by a passionate mouth-to-mouth kiss. Maybe he’d forget all about his wife and daughter, and join Geralt on his adventures, hand-in-hand cutting down thugs while they search for Ciri. Snogs can lead to🤪 all sorts of places, but I’m not marrying the Baron. One day, that snog will finally end, and I’ll leave him in the dirt.
Marry: Dandelion
I’m answering this under the impression that I’m Geralt in this scenario, and I want nothing more than 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Dandelion and Geralt to finally embrace each other. The aloof bard clawing for attention and the gruff monster slayer who’s at his most playful when he’s toying with that very bard - they’re a perfect match. Dandelion constantly plays the damsel in distress, and Geralt is his shining knight in shit-stained armour, and when they’re finally together, there’s so much unspoken chemistry. Hi𒁃story will say they’re just roommates, but fuck history -they’re in love.
Kill: Princess
We get to kill so many monsters and horrible, despicable people on our journey to find Ciri in The Witcher 3, but there’s one person (goat) who we can’t - Princess. We have to fetch her for the Pellar so he can milk her in a ritual to help us find the Baron’s family, but this goat constantly stops to eat strawberries, only follows you if you keep ringing a bell, and even runs headfirst into a bear’s den. Save me the trouble𝔍. Let me milk it, kill it, bag it, and get on with my life. And if killing Princess gets the Pellar’s goat, I’ll just kill him too. How hard can it be to sprinkle milk on the ground and mumble a few words? I’ll just reꦍad a guide if that fails.
