Vermis Is A Fake Video Game With A Real Strategy Guide

I collect video game strategy guides. They don’t make them much anymore, and when they do, they’re usually way too expensive and more or less collector’s edition books rather than actual walkthroughs. That’s fine. We’ve got the internet. We don’t need them and I still buy them anyway because I’ve got a lot of bookshelves and even more loneliness in my heart. When my family was broke, I’d go to Barnes & Noble and just read strategy guides front to back because I couldn’t actually play the game. In a way, old strategy guides are a strange distillation of the game; you don’t get to play it, but they tell you a story in their own way. The art, the narration of what to do; there’s a beauty to holding extra materials while 🦹playing a game. I literal☂ly own three copies of the Nintendo Power Earthbound guide, so I am kind of stupid about this.

Enter Vermis, a dark, gritty, Soulslike roleplaying game that literally doesn’t exist. In fact, if you search for Vermis, you’re just going to find the and strategy guides for the game. Because that’s all there is. Just two books (and some incredible limited art if you can get it) made by a Spanish artist named Plastiboo. And, again, they’re not just picture books with some fun medieval art. They’re strategy guides that give you creepy hints and tips for a game that feels like you imagined it in a nightmare. God, it’s perfect. I’m beyond🍒 kind of stupid here - I’ve advanced to ludicrously stupid.

At first, I didn’t know what I was getting into. I saw the guide for Vermis 2: Mist & Mirrors on a table at a bookstore. On the corner of the cover for the second book is a little torn “Official Guide” logo. The cover art - and, really, all the game’s art - wouldn’t feel out of place in 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Elden Ring. Much like 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:FromSoftware’s games, the design of the characters and the monsters in the book possess a vague but bewildering sense of loss. The world seems corrupted. Or, at the very least, it’s not a pleasant place to spend a Saturday in. Flipping through it, I knew I was leaving the store with this goddamn ℱbook. I asked the woman at the counter if they had the first entry in the series. She said no, so I bought the second one in the store and ordered the other from , a company that publishes a lot of games, art, and game-art-adjacent material. Then, like, two weeks later, Hollow Press announced hardcover versions of the books and so I bought them both again. I’m a sucker like that.

I’ve talked a bit about the art, but the writing in Vermis is incredible. Much like 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Dark Souls or Elden Ring or 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Bloodborne, the world is filled with sorrow and you’re going to die because of it. And because it’s built to feel like a strategy guide that came from another dimension, you get a certain feel for the world you wouldn’t normally get in a straightforward novel or comic. The drab style of the book and the art work often feels almost pixelated or almost like something from an old DOS game. You get the sense you’re not supposed to know about🅷 Vermis, as iꦉf it were a cursed game from a copypasta.

Hey, there are even character classes!

Vermis' Goblin Knight with a raised sword

Wandering Angel: A holy knight who decapitates themselves at the end of their pilgrimage.
Stone Scholar: A hermit whose wisdom comes from the rocks bound to his face that are slowly crushing his head.
Princess’s Nail: A knight that will do literally anything - anything! - the princess tells them.
Infant Seeker: A woman searching for a child stolen by a witch.
Mad Pricker: A mysterious cult member covered in painful torture devices.
Lost Old Glory: Another knight who’s just depressed because the good days are over.
Waste of Life: As the book says, “Hated by everyone.”
Murk Sage: Wizards of illusion who can’t stand the light.
Cursed Fool: A pilgrim following voices telling him how to bring back his lover from the dead.
Prophet: The last member of a religion who carries around the mummified head of his dead god.
Miner Knight: Exactly what that sounds like.
Rat Man: Same.

None of these classes would feel out of place in a Soulslike game. Hell, some of these classes sound fascinating, albeit impossible to play. None of this information is vital to the 𓄧‘story’ because the ‘story’ across the two books are more or le🐎ss a walkthrough with illustrations. It’s not a grand narrative or traditional graphic novel so much as just a guide that does a little bit of extra ambient storytelling.

In other words, Vermis is the perfect art book for people who’ve read this far in the story. You can open to any page and find something incredible. The books - especially the first book - lean so heavily into the strategy guide theme that it can almost be surprising when a map pops up or details on bosses like The Aspect Of Dream. The ‘hints’ at how to beat the🍌m mꦓake you imagine grand, git gud battles tried over and over again. It evokes an entire playing experience without having to turn anything on.

Look, a lot of you are probably in an Elden Ring mood. You’re probably trying to fight dancing lions while reading up on how it’s actually two dudes in a suit. If so, you will like Vermis. You will also like Vermis 2, the sequel to Vermis. That’s right, I’m giving this a straight up Reading Rainbow-style recommendation. It’s a Soulslike game that doesn’t require you to git gud, even if it still makes you feel bad. It’s a roleplaying game that doesn’t exist but should. It’s dark, it’s perfect, and I&rsqu෴o;m always playing it in my mind.

Or, as the book advises, “While inspecting the firep💞lace, you might notice a strong st🌜ench coming from the chimney. Avoid looking up.”