As you get older, you have less time for games. It’s a trend I’ve noticed across various friendship groups, as many of us trade 100-hour gaming marathons for shorter, more contained experiences. The best example of this is 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Citizen Sleeper, a short text-based RPG that sci-fi gargantuan 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Starfield will struggle to compete with for m♊e. Small games are just as able to tell good stories, and are often more affecting than the big names that are beholden to corporate interference and triple-A bloat.
The same thing goes for tabletop games. I don’t remember the last time I played a proper 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Warhammer battle, but recently I’ve played more bite-sized games of Space Hulk, Blood Bowl, and Necromunda. I used to spend entire weekends fighting 4,000-point Apocalypse wars with my entire collection, but now I’d much prefer to spend an hour over a board, pint in hand, and then do something else. I’m still interested in Warhammer, but I convert individual miniatures rather than enജtire armies, I paint for showcases and shelves rather than competitions, and I play on a far more casual basis.
That’s what lured me towards Plastic Bastards, a three-page war♐game by industry veteran Grant Howitt. It’s three times the length of his usual RPGs, but that doesn’t mean it’s bloated – far from it. He’s gone longer on this one because it’s a labour of love, because he’s trying to inspire creativity, and because he wants the game to be as petty as possible.
Shared on his , Howitt describes ♕Plastic Bastards as “a narrative miniatures game that happens to be abౠout fighting each other.” It’s not balanced, he proudly admits, and is about kitbashing the rules as much as it is the miniatures.
“The idea is that you make the models first and then work out what it is they do on the battlefield,” he says in the Patreon post. Kitbashing is a subculture within the miniatures community that involves smashing two (or more) kits into one big beastie that was never intended to be. It also happens to be my favourite part of the hobby, to the extent that I was christened with the nickname Sid at my old friendly local gaming store, thanks to the messed up creations I brought to the table𒆙top, a lá the Toy Story antagonist. Whether it’s an ogre with robot legs or an effigy of the Omnissiah carried by pitiable pallbearers, I’ve probably made it. Creating my own rules for these models within the Plastic Bastards framework is a dream come true.
“Don’t worry about it being balanced,” Howitt writes in the rules, “you’re telling a story about your guys, not trying to beat each other at chess.” And that’s🦄 where the pett𓂃iness comes in. Howitt told a story about a playtest in which his opponent was planning on desecrating the grave of his leader’s father over a monetary dispute. While the grave ended up thoroughly pissed on, Howitt managed to steal more valuables from the crypt so the game was declared a draw. The stories are petty, but the camaraderie between players is anything but. You’re not playing to win, you’re playing to tell an extremely silly story with cool guys who you’ve converted.
Thematically inspired by the iconic, fishy wargame Mordheim, Plastic Bastards’ combat is resolved by drawing from a deck of cards, and the most complicated rules are to do with list building. That’s ൲why you make a coolᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚ guy first – then you can just pick the weapons and abilities that fit the model, rather than trying to min-max your way to victory. A robot with a spear? Mechanical, Heavily Armoured, and Hateful. A Fancy Spear. Done. Now go and steal someone’s family jewels because they served you a bad pint.
Howౠitt is currently attempting to write 100 one-page RPGs, and while I’m not sure whether the page count of Plastic Bastards disqualifies it, his other titles such as Sexy Battle Wizards and Jason Statham’s Big Vacation are well worth checking out. None seem to be as much of a labour of lo🗹ve as Plastic Bastards, though, as Howitt is trying to encourage more players to engage with a whole different side of the hobby.
“I really hope that it inspires you to have a go at making toy soldiers, because it's such a joy to do something creative with no particular aim in mind, and if you happen to play a game with them too that's fine.”