If you grew up as a girl in America in the last 60 years, chances are somebody at some point gave you a Barbie doll to play with. Because as ❀gender norms tell us, girls play with dolls, and Barbie is the queen of all dolls. In a way, you could say she has raised the last several generations of American women.
Launched in 1959 by the toy company Mattel, Barbie (full name Barbara Millicent Roberts) has since sold over a billion♔ dolls worldwide, but that's only the beginning. She's more of a brand than a doll, and her merchandise covers almost any product you could imagine: clothes (for toys, people, pets, etc.), cartoon specials, feature length films, accessories, books, j🌳ewelry, sports equipment, video games, laptops (yes, really), and so much more. All this might seem surprising except when you realize that Barbie is probably the most accomplished person (fictional or otherwise) in the history of mankind.
Barbie has more than 150 careers to her name. Just for starters, she's a registeജred nurse, a rock star, a police officer, and a CEO. She went to the moon four years before Neil Armstrong did, an♏d in the 1990s, she even ran for President (sorry, Hillary, you weren't first after all). All in all, she seems like the perfect role model.
Except when she's not. Throughout the years, Mattel has made some seriously questionable choices with their Barbie line. Here are 25 unsettling Barbie dolls that a🦄ctually got made.
25 💃 Tongue Tied ✅
In 1992, Mattel introduced Teen Talk Barbie, a doll that spoke an assortment of common adolescent phrases, such as, "Want to go shopping?", "Let's plan our dream wedding!", and "Will we ever have enough clothes?" But like most teenagers, Barbie's language eventually got her in trouble. Teen Talk Barbie also uttered the phrase, "Math cl𝕴ass is tough!", which the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics criticized as being discouraging towards girls who wanted to study math and science.
The controversy grew so big, it was even parodied in an episode of The Simpsons. In the 1994 episode "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy," Lisa crusades against a Malibu Stacy🍸 doll that says, "Thinking too much gives you wrinkles." Mattel backpedaled and removed the phrase from newly manufactured Teen Talk Barbies.🎐 But in a bizarre twist of fate, the original dolls with the offensive phrase are now considered collector's items worth around $500.
24 ♏ For The Birthday Boy 🤡
The model of plastic male perfection, the Ken doll, was released in 1961, two years after Barbie hit store shelves. It may surprise you, but there is no Barbie/Ken canon; Mattel has never actually stated the nature of their relationship (married, ൲dating, occasionally hooking up, who knows?). But since Ken has only 40 occupations compared to Barbie's 150+ careers, who can blame her for not wanting to be tied down to such a loser? Besides, if we're being honest, how does either of them have time for a relationship anyway?
The "Happy Birthday, Ken" Barbie was released in 2011 for Ken's 50th birthday (wow, he does NOT show his age). Her stylish blue dr🗹ess is great and all, but the doll's name just conjures ♊images of so much yuck.
23 🐼 ๊ The King And His Queen
Elvis Presley was undoubtedly one of the greatest stars in all of rock 'n roll history. And you might be thinking that his relationship with ⛦Priscilla Ann was so sweet and romantic and why wouldn't anyone want a set of Barbie dolls to commemorate it, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. Priscilla may now be a successful actress and business executive who helped turn Graceland into one of the top tourist traps in the nation, but when Elvis first took an interest in her, she was only 14 years old. And he fed her chemical substances of the illegal variety. This is serious Roy Moore-territory here.
Elvis and Priscilla's marriage only lasted six years
Nevertheওless, in 2008 Mattel released this commemorative wed🧸ding set with Graceland's seal of approval--even though Elvis and Priscilla's marriage only lasted six years.
22 ♔ SPF Barbie
According to SkinCancer.org, there are more new cases of skin cancer annually than there are of chest cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer, mesothelioma, and lung cancer combined. One p🎶erson passes away from melanoma every 54 minutes (that's over 26 each day). But we'll try to give Mattel the benefit of the doubt on this one because, in the '80s, we just didn't know everything that we know now.
Mattel released S༒u🌳n Gold Malibu Barbie in 1983. Per the box, the beach babe doll came with three pairs of sunglasses and a tote-to-towel bag, perfect for spending hours and hours soaking up cancer-causing UV rays (you can watch the wonderfully vintage commercial ). Too bad they didn't release the follow-up doll: Melanoma Barbie with chemotherapy treatment sold separately. "Ooo, Barbie! You're absolutely radiant!"
21 𝓡 Why Does Barbie Sett🐼le For Less?
June Cleaver. Jane Wyatt. Donna Reed. 🌞TV sitcoms of the 1950s were rife with images of the Perfect American Housewife. Donning her high heel shoes and tying her apron around her slim waist, the PAH kept an immaculate home, baked flawless chocolate cakes, and graciously handled her rowdy offspring and benevolent husband, all without breaking a sweat. It sounds like the kind of atmosphere in which Barbie would fit right in. That's why in the 1950s, Mattel released the Wash 'n Watch Dishwasher. Oh, wait--no, it was 1991.
Barbie stood in her kitchen, watching her dishes
Do you know what else 🌼happened in 1991? Janet Jackson signed a three album, $40 million deal with Virgin Rec💎ords. Martina Navratilova won her 100th singles match at Wimbledon, setting a record. Sandhi Ortiz-DelValle became the first woman to officiate a men's professional basketball game. And Barbie stood in her kitchen, watching her dishes in her dishwasher. Unacceptable
20 Barbie Could Use Better Accessories ✱
Those eyes say it all. When you see how she lived her life, even whi🐻le relaxing, it's no wonder Slumber Party Barbie seems so exceptionally lifeless, even for a plast🍰ic doll.
In 1965, Mattel released this version of Barbie about to spend a night of gossip and manicures with her best gal pals. And what does she pack for such ✱an occasion? Just the necessities: pajamas, a bathrobe, a mirror, slippers, a diet book, and a bathroom scale set at 110 lbs. Thanks for nothing, Mattel. Why would they ever think that was an appropriate accessory for a children's toy — it's completely not ok. Kids pick up on these kinds of subtle queues, and anyone in their right mind knows it.
19 Are Kids Even Interested In This ♚Stuff?
It's really difficult to find a solid answer to the question, "How many different types of Barbie dolls has Mattel release✃d?" The answer is somewhere in the thousands. So even if I do a conservative estimate and say one thousand, that's still an average of nearly 17 new typ😼es of Barbie dolls released per year since 1959. And I'm guessing they ran out of ideas somewhere around 1996.
At least it would seem so, because that's the year Mattel released this limited edition George Washington Barbie. Colonial Barbie isn't so bad; in fact, I kind of like her. But 𒆙perhaps to some people, his being on the dollar bill wasn't enough acclaim for America's first president? Clearly, he should be immortalized via Barbie doll--in pink, which I'm sure was his favorite color.
18 Vanity, Thy Name Is 🎀 ๊
Perhaps weജ can blame the '70s. It was a tumultuous time, after all. That was the decade that brought us Watergate, the Vietnam War, and the first test-tube baby. It also brought us disco, pet💮 rocks, and leisure suits. Oh, and we got a Barbie who wore a dress adorned with the face of (who else?) Barbie.
Pop Icon Barbie graced us with her presence in 1977
Pop Icon Barbie graced us with her presence in 1977. That's probably the best way of putting it since it takes a certain amount of arrogance to wear something with your own face on it. The Mattel website describes her as "a doll for a new era: stylish, 𓂃sensational, and oh so chic, this leading lady knows how to rock the spotlight." And humble. They forgot to mention humble.
17 ꦏ 🃏 The Quicker Picker Upper
Normally when people think about getting a pet dog, they think of all the fun things they'll get to do with their new companion: play games, go hiking, take bike rides, pick up their poop...wait, what? Appar😼ently, that's the part Mattel thought was most important to focus on, because in the Barbie Forever with Tanner toy set, that's all Barbie does. Forever.
The set comes with Barbie, Tan𒈔ner the dog, food, and a magnetic poop scoop. In what might be the most disturbingಌ sequence of events I've ever seen, Barbie feeds Tanner the nuggets, Tanner "relieves" herself, Barbie picks it up, and FEEDS IT TO TANNER AGAIN. Shockingly this toy set was recalled, but only because it was a choking hazard. Oddly enough, people were into this horrifying cycle; the Barbie Forever with Tanner set is now a collector's item worth well over a hundred dollars.
16 ꧅ Inﷺaccessible Play
Per Mattel's press release that accompanied the 1997 release of this doll, "Share a Smile Becky is Barbie doll's friend with a disability that was designed so that the Barbie doll world will reflect the richness and diversity of the real world." At the time, it seemed the company was doing and saying all the right things. They worked with the National Parent Network on Disabilities to design the doll. They made donations to the NPND and The National Lekotek Center. They placed Becky on the cover of the Toys 'R' Us Annual Differently-Abled Catalog. There was just one teensy, tiny detail they 🐲missed.
Kids soon realized thatꦿ Becky's "realistically designed" pink wheelchair wouldn't fit through the door of the Barbie Dreamhouse. So much for "leadin🦂g the way for accessible play."